every way we meet (we fall in love)
by Someone aka Me
Summary: 28 AUs, all Par/Lav.1. car accident. 2. barista. 3. librarian. 4. fake zombies. 5. support group. 6. Deadpool!Lav/Daredevil!Par 7. tattoo artist 8. celebrity 9. reaper 10. speed dating 11. fake dating 12. angel and demon 13. Fallen angel, soulmates 14. drugs and knitting 15. assassins 16. Aphrodite 17. EMT 18. bank robbery 19. spy 20. flowers 21. mermaids 22. postwoman 23. zombies
1. crashed my car, you called the ambulance

Lavender swears up and down that she's usually a good driver. Good enough to drive in London, where everyone is wild and the city never sleeps.

It's just that it's kind of late and she's coming home from work and she's thinking about food and then there's this _jogger_ , and she's shaped like a goddamn model, all legs and dark, short running shorts and bright yellow sports bra and _hot damn_. So she gets a little distracted. She'd dare anyone else not to.

She would swear up and down that the stop sign comes out of nowhere and leaps into the middle of the street. She would swear it, except she's thrown against the steering wheel as her airbag goes off and between the impact with the airbag and the snap in her neck, the world goes dark.

…

Lavender is pretty sure she's dead. Because that's an angel sitting in the chair by her bedside. It turns out the jogging angel is only more gorgeous from up close.

"Wow, I didn't think I'd make it to heaven."

The angel laughs, and that's how Lavender realizes she said that aloud.

"They've got you on the good painkillers," the angel says.

"You are beautiful, no matter what they say," Lavender says. It seems the only logical response. Then she pauses. "They have painkillers in heaven?"

The angel laughs again. "No, but they do have them in St. Mungo's, and that's where the ambulance brought you."

Lavender frowns. "They have _ambulances_ in heaven?"

The angel pats her arm. "You're not dead yet, darling."

"No, I'm not dead, I'm Lavender! Are you dead?"

"I'm Parvati, and I'm also going to have them turn your pain medications down."

"Mmmk," Lavender hums, sinking into sleep.

When she wakes up, she sleepily scratches at her side and then bolts upright at the burst of pain that causes. She looks down, examining the bandage wrapped around her middle.

"The fuck?" she says aloud.

"Ah," says a voice like molasses, strong and smooth and slow and sweet. "You're with us this time."

"Who the fuck are you?" she says, as she turns. She's greeted with a majestic beauty of a woman. It's almost worth the pain.

"Parvati. I called the ambulance after watching you get in a terrible car accident. Where you nearly hit me."

"…oops?" Lavender offers.

Parvati smiles. "It's okay. You just tried to take ' _hit on_ ' a bit more literally than most people do."

Lavender laughs so hard her ribs hurt.

"But did it work?" she finally asks with a grin.

"Mmm, I might be feeling a little something."

"Oh baby," Lavender drawls. "Don't try to fight this feeling."

Parvati grins. "Maybe when you get out of this hospital bed, I'll take you on a date."

"I'd like that," Lavender says. "I'd like that a lot."

* * *

For: (Meet cute Marathon: I was watching that hot jogger while driving out of the neighbourhood but got distracted and crashed but i just woke up in a hospital room and said hot jogger is at my bedside because apparently they're the one who called the ambulance.) (Snakes Word: wild) (Scavenger hunt: 400-500 words, terrible, yellow and sleep.) (Disney: **One Jump Ahead** \- Write about a close call) (Year in Entertainment: "don't try to fight this feeling.")(Showtime: One Short Day - setting: Muggle London) (Buttons: word: neck) (Restriction of the Month: no mentioning Hogwarts Houses, song: Beautiful by Christina Aguilera) (Ultimate House: item: bandage) (365 - no more than two characters)


	2. flirty pick up lines on my coffee cup

The first time it happens, Lavender almost doesn't notice. She's on her way to work and she's got three patients scheduled back to back and the first one is a nineteen year old with auditory hallucinations and that's always especially stressful. It's absolutely pouring rain outside and she's forgotten her umbrella and nobody wants to see a psychologist in a soaked blouse, so she's trying to remember if she's got a spare at the office right now, or if she wore it home last time she needed it.

The barista calls out her name, and Lavender hurries forward. A beautiful Indian girl with eyes like stars smiles at her.

"Take it away," the girl says cheerfully. Lavender takes a moment to smile back, and then hurries away.

She gets to her office, sets up her things, and pulls out the files for her first group of patients. She's nearly done with her latte before she notices the words under her name.

 _If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaaamndelion._

It makes her grin.

…

The next time she goes in, the gorgeous Indian girl is taking orders. Her name-tag reads Parvati :), written in black sharpie. She smiles when she catches sight of Lavender. "Hey, venti butterscotch latte with skim milk and added whip, right?"

Lavender grins. "You know my order."

Parvati blushes. "I… might."

"That's sweet."

"Not creepy?" Parvati asks. Lavender smiles.

"Provisional pass. To be determined."

This time, when she gets her cup, she checks the side immediately.

 _You know what's on the menu? Me n u!_

Parvati smirks at her on her way out the door.

…

The third time, Lavender reads the message and blushes crimson.

 _I know you're busy, but will you add me to your to-do list?_

Parvati, who is working the register again, smirks at her.

Lavender winks back.

…

The day after that, Lavender walks in and sees Parvati in the back, stirring something with a spoon. Only, when Parvati surveys the crowds, she doesn't seem to notice Lavender at all.

Lavender assumes that Parvati just didn't see her, but then when Parvati calls out her name, she scans the crowd and doesn't show a hint of recognition when Lavender steps forward. No recognition, no flirty smile, and — Lavender checks the cup — no terrible pick up line. Lavender tilts her head in question, but Parvati just frowns and turns back to make the next drink.

Lavender spends all day wondering what she's done wrong.

She has a meeting with her boss, Minerva, at the end of the day to discuss her cases, but she's so distracted and antsy that Minerva sends her home with a worried frown and an admonition to get more sleep.

...

She goes to the coffee shop the next day anyway, determined to get some answers.

But when she walks in, Parvati greets her with a cheerful smile as though nothing is wrong.

"The usual?"

Lavender frowns at her, and Parvati's smile drops. "What?" she asked.

"Why were you so… brusque yesterday?"

Parvati blinks, looks thoughtful for a second. "Oh! That was Padma. I didn't work yesterday, but my twin sister did."

Now Lavender is the one blinking.

"You have a twin sister?"

Parvati nods, laughing.

"Oh my god, I feel so stupid," Lavender says.

Parvati is still giggling, and it's goddamn adorable. "Don't be. You're not the first and you won't be the last. Especially at work when we wear our hair up. Half the time our coworkers can't even tell us apart unless they check the schedule."

"Do you ever switch name tags just to screw with people?"

Parvati grins. "All the time."

This time, when Lavender gets her cup, there's a little heart after her name.

 _Are you an overdue library book? Because you've got FINE written all over you._

Lavender chuckles, and blows a kiss at Parvati as she leaves the cafe.

...

It goes on like that.

 _Are you WiFi? Because I'm feeling a connection._

 _I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're making the other girls in this cafe look bad._

 _Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?_

Lavender has to increase her coffee budget just for the chance of seeing Parvati more often, until she's going in nearly every day. Within a few weeks, she can fairly reliably tell the difference between Padma and Parvati. Parvati smiles at her like it's something secret, something special. Padma smiles at her differently, more perfunctory. Parvati has a tiny mole below her left ear that Padma doesn't have. When she can get a good look at their ponytails, she can tell that Padma has longer hair.

One day, she corners Padma as Padma is handing her a latte.

"Can you help me? I need some advice."

Padma looks at her calmly. "Sure."

"I want to ask Parvati on a date."

"Well then, ask her."

"Wow, such astounding advice," Lavender drawls.

"She's not going to say no," Padma says with a shrug.

Lavender can't help her smile. "That's better advice."

Padma frowns at her. "That wasn't advice, merely a statement of fact."

Lavender grins. "I still liked it better."

Padma tips her head at her. "Fair enough."

So the next day, Lavender walks up to the register and says, before she can second guess herself, "Excuse me, I can't remember my phone number. Can I have yours?"

Parvati stares at her for a second, and then bursts out laughing. "Okay, that was honestly _worse_ than any of mine."

"So sue me, I'm a little bit nervous. But was it bad enough to earn me a dinner date this weekend?"

Parvati grins. "Sure. Just bad enough for that."

When Lavender gets her cup that day, it has a phone number written on the side. She doesn't stop smiling all day.

* * *

For: (Insane House: Job - Barista) (365: 18. AU - Cafe!AU) (Scavenger Hunt: Write an AU set outside of the wizarding world) (Umbrella Day - Write a fic set during a rainstorm) (Year in Entertainment: book: relationship, sisters) (Snake 8. Bird Snake - Padma Patil) (Showtime 1. No One Mourns the Wicked - (dialogue) "Take it away.") (Lyric Alley: 7. I'm a little bit nervous) (TV Show: Dr. Lance Sweets: (AU) Psychologist. (action) giving advice, (character) Minerva McGonagall) (Buttons: object 4: spoon, dialogue 5. "Can you help me?") (Meet cute Marathon: I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I'm your barista) (FF wriMo - 967 words) (Library lovers: Fangirl, Rainbow Rowell (2. twins, 3. Mental health, 4. misunderstanding))


	3. librarian - are you on a quest?

Parvati did not ask for this.

And yet here she is, following behind Padma as Padma marches into the library and says, "Hello, I need your best potions book."

The pretty brunette at the counter blinks at her for a second, and then calls out, "Hermione! I think this one is yours!"

A woman with a mass of brown curls walks up. "What can I help you with?"

Padma repeats her request. Hermione tilts her head, and says, "What kind? Healing? Dark Magic?"

Parvati sighs. Dear god, Padma's going to be even worse with someone to encourage her.

"We need to heal a wound caused by thoughts," Padma says. Parvati looks at the first librarian, giving her a look that say, do you have to deal with this often? The librarian gives her a sympathetic look.

"Sorry for my sister," Parvati tells her.

The librarian grins. "It's fine. I'm used to it from Hermione. I'm Lavender."

Parvati grins back. "Parvati. We just moved here, but Padma's already found some people to role play with, which means we'll probably see a lot of you guys."

Lavender looks her up and down. "I'd like that."

Hermione and Padma have clearly wandered away in search of a Potions book.

Parvati takes this opportunity to lean across the counter.

"My sister may be a wizard, but I'm a paladin. We're known for our stamina." Parvati winks. "Think about it."

She watches Lavender slowly flush bright red, and she smirks.

For a moment, Lavender doesn't respond, and Parvati wonders if she's severely misread the situation.

Except, just as she's about the apologize, Lavender says, "I've never actually dated a girl and I'm a little bit scared but I'd really, really like that."

Parvati's smirk morphs into a softer smile. "Here's my number," she says, jotting it down on one of the scraps of paper for writing down call numbers for books. "Call me?"

Lavender nods.

At that moment, Hermione and Padma come back, Padma holding a thick book. "Par, I got it! It's Dr. Ubbly's Oblivious Unction! It takes three days to brew, but it should be easy enough to get ingredients for."

"Fabulous," Parvati draws, because she may be a paladin but she refuses to lose her personality in the meantime.

She winks at Lavender as she leaves.

Hermione is fully hoping that Padma and her sister will come back. Padma's question was far more interesting than the loads of people who come in looking for things they could easily google. It didn't hurt that Padma was clearly smart as hell, just as nerdy as Hermione herself, and hot as hell with legs for miles.

So when Padma bursts into the library with her sister on her heels, runs up to Hermione, and says, "I need an antidote for cobra venom, fast!" Hermione grins before dashing to the section on poisons.

"How did someone wind up with a snake bite?" Hermione asks as they speed-walk through the shelves.

"Assassination attempt by a dark mage," Padma says.

"We'll make sure it stays an attempt," Hermione says. She pulls out three books in a row and hands one to Padma to flip through. After a moment of rapid paging, Parvati makes a sound of triumph. "Got it!"

Hermione shelves the other two books and they both speed walk to the front desk, where Parvati and Lavender have their heads bent close and are giggling.

"They're cute together," Hermione says.

"Par is pining," Padma tells her. "She hasn't had it this bad in a while. Lavender texted her last night and she actually screamed. And they've only been on one date."

"Lavender literally spends the day sighing, and when I ask what she's sighing about, she just says, 'Parvati.' I'm not even sure what that means, but she's always smiling, so I guess it's good."

Padma grins at her. "Your coworker is distracting my paladin," she says, teasingly. Hermione grins back.

"Your paladin is distracting my coworker."

Padma hesitates, and then says, "Well, I mean, if your coworker is distracted, it seems only fair if you are, too. Would you like to go to dinner with me?"

"With Padma the Wizard, or Padma the human?" Hermione asks with a teasing grin. Padma smiles back.

"Just human me."

"Hmm. Well, I think human you is probably pretty great." Hermione swoops in a kisses her cheek. "I'd love dinner."

Lavender is amazing, and Parvati could listen to her talk for hours and never get bored. She talks about her writing, and how she's published one book and is writing another. Then she easily transitions from her criticisms of transcendentalist literature to the best makeup brands. It's a wild ride, and Parvati loves it.

They end their third date by snogging in an alleyway that they pass on the way home. Lavender's lips are like heaven, and Parvati wonders if this is her happily ever after, her happy ending.

The next time Padma comes in, Hermione gasps. Her eye is black and blue.

"What happened?"

Parvati shrugs. "You should see the other guy."

Lavender blinks at her. "How can you be so cavalier about this? Your sister's clearly been punched!"

"Yeah, well, she broke at least three bones in his hand, so I really think she's okay." At Hermione and Lavender's simultaneous stares, Parvati elaborates. "Padma's well trained in jiu jitsu. She only uses it for self defense, but…" Parvati shrugs again. "Bastard saw a woman in a full set of wizard robes and assumed easy target. He learned better."

"Never judge a book by its movie, and never judge a girl by her robes," Padma says calmly.

Hermione walks around the desk, takes Padma's face very carefully in her hands, and kisses her fiercely. "You are amazing. And I am proud of you for defending yourself."

Parvati looks at the softness in Padma's face and the steel in Hermione's, and she grins.

This was a good move, she thinks. And this is a very good library.

They go on a double date. Because Parvati is a hot mess of a human being, they show up ten minutes late.

Hermione informs them of this.

Padma looks at her and grins. "Oh, darling. Don't you know? A wizard is never late. Everyone else is simply early."

Hermione laughs, and Parvati grins at all three of them.

Yeah. This was a very good move.

(Insane House: Dr. Ubbly's Oblivious Unction -Heals wounds left by thoughts) (Library Lovers: LoTR: 1. genre, fantasy 6. "a wizard is never late", 10. a quest) (Meet Cute: I work at the library, and you continuously ask me to help you find books on the most random topics; are you on some kind of quest??) (Scavenger hunt: hermione as a main character) (365. Job - Bookstore Clerk/Librarian) (Snakes: Zebra snake- (setting) library) (Fem Feb - 52. Hermione/Padma) (Character Appreciation: 17. (Word) Snake Bite) (Disney Song 3. Prince Ali - Write about someone pretending to be something they're not) (Stuart Redman: (word) self defense, (plot point) assassination attempt, (action) breaking a bone) (Showtime: Thank Goodness - (phrase) Happy Ending) (Pluto Day - Write about someone who is often overlooked or forgotten) (Buttons D3: "Think about it") (Lyric Alley - 6. I'm a little bit scared.) (Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan: (AU) Author, (item) book, (action) partaking in some self-defense) (Liza's Loves 38. Cobra's Fang - Write about a snake's bite) (Jenny's Jovial Quotes -"Never judge a book by its movie." J.W. Egan )(FF WriMo: 1066 words.)


	4. I thought you were a zombie

Parvati is literally just starting her shift. She's unlocked the door and moved into the kitchen to make sure she's got enough bacon thawed in the fridge when the front bell rings, signifying someone's entrance. She sighs, moving into the main part of the kitchen, where she can see the door. What fresh hell is this? she wonders, freezing in her tracks. She grabs the closest heavy thing — a frying pan. Carefully, she creeps forward.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" she yells as she whacks the zombie over the head. The zombie sinks to the floor like a bag of rocks.

Parvati can tell her pulse rate is elevated, but seriously, what the fuck. Who ever predicted the Zombie Apocalypse would start at 7 in the morning? Then again, she always knew New York would be the seat of the Zombie Apocalypse. New Yorkers just really like to be the center of things. Including disease epidemics.

She looks at the zombie.

She's surprisingly pretty, for a member of the undead. Her hair, though mussed and tangled, is long and brown and somewhat healthy. Parvati wonders if this means she hasn't been a zombie for long. Her face, though dripping with blood in places and peeling in others, was clearly once beautiful. She looks like a child's crumpled doll. Parvati can't believe she did that. She didn't want to do that. But she refuses to become a goddamn zombie. No way.

She moves into the kitchen and picks up the biggest knife she can find.

She's looking at other things, rounding up fruit and other ready-to-eat foods from the kitchen. It looks like she's going to have to run.

She's not even close to done packing when another zombie comes in, looks from Parvati to the zombie on the floor, and says in surprisingly clear English, "Seriously, guys, tell me what has gone wrong here?"

Parvati moves a little closer and brandishes her knife.

"I know what you are."

She sees the zombie's dead eyes widen.

"Whoa, whoa, what?"

"I never wanted to be the hero in a zombie apocalypse, but I will if I have to! Don't come any closer! You zombies can't hide forever! Not from me!"

"I just—"

"You better run! Run as fast as you can!"

"DO YOU REALLY THINK ZOMBIES CAN SPEAK FULL SENTENCES?" he finally yells, speaking loudly enough that she can't interrupt him.

Parvati blinks at him, and then squints. "Maybe that's just what you want me to think."

"Oh my god. You literally knocked out my oldest and dearest friend and are threatening me with a knife. How do I prove to you that I am a living breathing human being, so that I can make sure Lav is okay?"

Parvati frowns.

"Dance," she finally says.

"What?" says the zombie.

"Everybody knows zombies can't dance."

"Seriously, are you nutty?"

"Dance, or I will stab you," Parvati says, her voice full of iron. "I am not dying today."

"What the fuck is today," the zombie mutters, and then starts dancing a perfectly choreographed Irish jig, which, as dances go, is fairly convincing evidence toward his status as one of the living.

And if he's just a man in a costume…

Fuck. Parvati puts the knife down and puts her hands over her mouth.

"It was a zombie 5k," says the not-zombie, who has stopped doing the jig and now just looks weary. "To raise awareness for depression."

"The zombie costumes were misleading me. Frankly, that would have been nice information to know!"

The man rolls his eyes. "It was quite well publicised. Now, I swear to god, I do not want to eat your brain. Can I check on Lav?"

"Please do, oh my god. I'm so sorry."

He moves forward and puts his hand to her neck, checking her pulse. Just as he does, she groans and starts blinking rapidly.

Parvati breaths out in relief.

"Lav? Lavender?" the man says.

"Mmm. Seamus?"

"Yeah. Stay with me."

"M' head hurts," she says as she opens her eyes.

Seamus chuckles. "I bet it does. Some dumbass apparently whacked you with a frying pan."

As Lavender looks around, Parvati waves awkwardly. "Hi, I'm said dumbass, also referred to as Parvati. I'm so sorry I hit you. I'm really glad you're not dead."

"Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die." And then, at Parvati's horrified look, she grins and adds, "Oh, no, I'm just a klutz. Stairs are my nemesis."

"I'm so sorry."

"Well, I forgive you. Which clearly means you must be a witch and I've fallen under your spell. Are you going to take me back to your castle and eat me out… of a pot?" Lavender winks, and Parvati is frankly impressed with her audacity.

Parvati grins back. "Frankly, I think I owe you an apology dinner. And besides, someone should stay with you through the night… to ensure you don't have a concussion. Of course."

It's not how Parvati expected the zombie apocalypse to end, but she's not complaining.

* * *

Meet cute: I was unaware that there was an organised zombie crawl going on and I didn't realise you were in a costume. I screamed in your face because I truly thought I was facing a zombie invasion.

(Gobstones: Green Stone - Courage, Accuracy: (setting) America, Power: (food) Bacon (or goal or memory), Technique: (object) Knife) (Scavenger hunt: Write about someone exercising) (Sneks :Hundred pacer - (dialogue) "Run, run, as fast as you can…") (Library Lovers Percy Jackson - Rick Riordan - 5. "Dont feel bad, I'm usually about to die" 6. New York 8. hero) (insane house: item: Knife) (365 prompts: word: nutty) (Character Appreciation: 19. Write about a fight) (Disney C1: Aladdin - Write about a survivor.) (Julie Lawry:(action) making fun of someone, (plot point) discovering someone's true colors, (word) information) (Showtime: As Long As You're Mine - (dialogue) "I've fallen under your spell.") (Buttons: D2: "You can't hide forever." W3: fruit) (Lyric Alley 17. Misleadin' me) (Dr. Camille Saroyan: (dialogue) "Seriously guys, tell me what has gone wrong here?", (item) knife, (action) dancing) (Liza's Loves 14. Old Pal - Write about old friends) (Jenny's Jovial Quotes: 23. "What fresh hell is this?" - Dorothy Parker)


	5. support group (see warnings)

WARNINGS: suicidal thoughts, depression, loosely described panic attack, body image issues around scars

Disclaimer: I have no idea how group therapy works but I figure Kingsley doesn't really either so…

…

It wasn't supposed to be like this. The war was supposed to be over. It's not over, though. It lives inside of them.

.

Lavender doesn't want to go to the group.

Lavender doesn't want to leave her house.

But Seamus had stopped by and taken one look at her and decided he wasn't having any of her bullshit. Because while she had been able to fool everyone else, Seamus knew her, and he was always the first to notice when something was wrong. And Seamus, with Dean standing silently behind him and clearly supporting him, had cleaned up her house and put the kettle on and told her she was going to group.

And… well, some days Lavender feels nothing but self-pity and some days she just wants to go to sleep and never wake up and some days she wishes she had died in the war, but some days she feels scared of how she's feeling and she wants to do better.

And Seamus catches her on a day where she wants to get better and she agrees to go.

The day group comes is not a day she wants to get better. The day group comes is a day she wants to stay in bed forever and feel bad for herself and her tragic life and her lost beauty.

Seamus shows up at her door and takes one look at her and says, "I know. But you're going. You want to get better."

"Not today," she says. "Today I just want to sleep."

And Seamus looks her intently in the eyes and says, "If not today, then when? It's always going to be not today."

He's not wrong.

She sighs, and lets him in. He puts the kettle on, hands her her toothbrush, and then goes into her bedroom to pick out clothes. She wonders when he decided they had no boundaries. She wonders what she did to deserve him.

She brushes her teeth without looking in the mirror because she doesn't want to see the scars. She puts on the clothes Seamus left on her bed and drinks the tea he made.

She goes to the group therapy.

…

She doesn't expect Kingsley Shacklebolt to be leading it. It's a nice surprise, because it means he understands the war. It's a Muggle group, officially, but Seamus had told her that all of them had some experience with the wizarding world, so she doesn't have to watch what she says so carefully. Not all of them will fully understand, but at least Kingsley will. And George Weasley, who is sitting by himself, curled up to occupy as little space as possible. She understands the impulse. She tugs the hood of her sweatshirt up and hopes it helps to cover her scars. She wonders why she's here. She wonders why she's not just leaving. Seamus would never know.

She turns to go, and she comes face to face with her old roommate.

"Lavender," Parvati says with a small but sincere smile. "It feels like it's been an infinity. How are you?"

Lavender blinks. How is she? _How is she?_ She's in therapy. She feels so fragile that she could easily shatter into a million pieces, but even if she did it wouldn't matter because she's already broken. She feels trapped in her home and terrified to leave it. _How is she?_ She's covered in her own demons; they are crawling on her skin and never leaving her be. She's a veteran of a war she never agreed to fight. She's—

She's gasping for air.

Suddenly, Kingsley is at her side, counting breaths for her and encouraging her to inhale longer on each one.

When the world stops spinning, everyone in the room is looking at her. Her hood has fallen back, exposing her scars, and she can feel the fire of _his_ claws in her face and… she flees.

When Seamus asks how group therapy went, she tells him she's never going again.

He looks at her with the world's saddest puppy dog eyes.

She sighs, and crawls back into bed.

He runs a hand through her hair, leans down and kisses her cheek, and says, "I just want what's best for you, Lavender."

…

The next day group rolls around is a better day. Lavender is already out of bed when Seamus knocks on her door. The kettle is already hot, and Seamus grins at her when he notices.

When she makes it into the therapy room, she actually takes the time to look around this time. She notices sad clusters of smiley face balloons, contrasting sharply with the dull grey walls. The carpet is equally grey. The chairs are blue and plastic and bring back memories of primary school.

The full group is about 20 people. George and Kingsley have both already arrived and taken seats on opposite sides of the circle. Parvati isn't here.

Most of the Muggles look like people she wouldn't give a second glance if she passed them in the street. One is a young man with a black eye and four scratches that look like fingernails on his forearm. One woman stares blankly at the wall, and Lavender things she's completely zoned out until she notices the white cane with a red tip sitting next to her. Another woman looks around constantly, and when her eyes meet Lavender's, Lavender recognizes the same demons she sees in the mirror.

She sits as far away from that woman as she can. Her eyes are too familiar, and they make Lavender uneasy.

Parvati comes in. She looks around the circle, smiles at a few people, and then she choose the seat next to Lavender. Lavender shifts in discomfort. Fortunately, there isn't time to start a conversation, because Kingsley clears his throat.

"Hello faces, new and old. Welcome to the support group for people who've had experiences that other people can't understand. Instead of finding a common disease, we are joined by a common denominator, and that is that we have experience with the mystical."

Lavender looks at Kingsley and thinks anyone who didn't know he was a wizard would probably think he was crazy.

"In this group, we remember that we can't change the past, but we can change the future. Would anyone like to share anything from this week?"

Parvati speaks. Lavender startles in surprise and doesn't turn to face her, despite the urge.

"I dreamed about my family dying again. My mother and father don't understand, because they weren't there, and they didn't see Padma die. Mother told me that I needed to get over my grief and move on with my life, and for a while I thought maybe she was right. But then I remembered what you said, about how there's no timeline for grief. I think that helped."

Kingsley is smiling, soft and gentle. It looks natural on his face.

And Lavender listens. She listens as the young man with the black eye and the scratches talks about his boyfriend, who was a wizard, and he is the reason behind the wounds. She listens as the woman with the cane talks about how she wasn't always blind.

When the end of the time is nearing, Kingsley asks her if she wants to say anything. She turns to him, and she says serenely, "I don't think I need therapy. I think I need a miracle."

Kingsley doesn't look like he knows what to say about that.

…

When she leaves the group, she is feeling too shaky to Apparate immediately. Instead, she leans up against the side of the building. The kid with the bruised eye comes up next to her and opens a box of cigarettes with trembling hands. He offers her one. She shakes her head.

"Are you sure? A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite and leaves one quite satisfied. What more can one want?"

When she gives him an odd look, he returns with a lopsided grin and says, "Oscar Wilde once said that. Not me. Sometimes other people's words work better."

Lavender can understand the impulse, but still, she shakes her head.

"Suit yourself," he mumbles through the cigarette, and then lights it. He inhales, holds it in his lungs for a moment, and then breathes out slowly.

There's something both beautiful and tragic about it.

"We all have our demons. After all, monsters are real. Ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." He gives her another lopsided grin. "That one is Stephen King."

"Do you have any words of your own?"

It comes out more hostile than she means it to. Most things do, these days.

He doesn't seem bothered. "Some days I do. Some days, not so much. But that's okay."

 _Fuck it_ , she thinks.

"Can I have one after all?"

He doesn't question it, just offers her the pack and then lights it. She coughs on the inhale, but stubbornly takes a second draw.

"Eliot," he says after a pause.

"What?"

"My name. It's Eliot. I told him I was going to my dad's, because that's the only time he doesn't question me, but I can tell he's suspicious. And I know the normal police can't prosecute him, so what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"I have a friend," she offers after a moment. "Who works… police, for the… supernatural. He'd back me up. If you want."

Eliot looks at her as though she's given him the world. "You'd do that?"

Lavender shrugs. Just because she can't solve her own problems, doesn't mean she can't help him with his.

…

She tells Seamus to pick her up from group next time so that he can talk to Eliot. She's had a string of bad days, and today she's on the upswing but still not in a good place, so when Parvati sits down next to her, Lavender snaps, "What the hell do you _want from me_?"

Parvati blinks.

"What?"

"You _left_. When I needed you."

"You left!" Parvati says. "My _twin sister died in front of me_ and you just _disappeared_."

"I tried to talk to you, but it was like you couldn't even see me."

"What– when– I was in shock! I was hardly aware of my own continued state of living, let alone anything else! And when the shock receded and the grief hit, my best friend was _gone_. And no one could tell me where she went."

Lavender blinks. "I… what." That's not how she remembers it. That's not how it feels in her head. But then, everything from _right after_ feels like warm oil in her brain, slippery and impossible to grab.

Parvati's anger softens. "Oh, Lavender. I know things have been terrible. But I never meant to leave you alone with any of this."

Lavender is crying. This is the first time she's cried since _right after_. "I never meant to leave you either. I… I loved you. And I wanted to help you, but it didn't seem like you wanted my help, and now you don't need it but I'm still broken and helpless and…"

And then Parvati is guiding her up out of the chair and hugging her tightly and it feels like coming home. It doesn't solve anything. But it means she and Seamus aren't alone anymore.

….

Eliot winds up living with Seamus and Dean. Eliot's boyfriend goes to Azkaban for using magic in front of a Muggle and for abuse of a Muggle.

This just feels like the icing on the cake.

* * *

(Library Lovers: The Fault in Our Stars - John Green 1. (au) Support Group; 2. (genre) Hurt/Comfort; 10. (word) Infinity) (Character appreciation: 15. (Word) Family) (Disney C7. The Genie - Write about someone feeling trapped) (Ralph Brentner: (word) veteran, (character) Kingsley Shacklebolt, (plot point) being the first to notice something important,) (Showtime: 13. Wonderful - (object) Balloons) (White Shirt Day - Write a fic featuring two or more Order members (Kingsley, George)) (Buttons: O3: toothbrush,) (Lyric Alley: 16. I feel my demons) (Year in Entertainment: TV: House - (object) Cane) (Liza's Loves 16. Lavender Martini - Write about Lavender) (Jenny's Jovial Quotes: "A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite and leaves one quite satisfied. What more can one want?" - Oscar Wilde) (Snake 52. Hopi rattlesnake- (word) fragile) (Gobstones: Red Stone - Health, Accuracy: (dialogue) "We can't change the past." Power: (dialogue) "I need a miracle." or word express. Technique: (object) Kettle) (Insane House - Support Group AU) (365 prompts - "It wasn't supposed to be like this") (Fem feb: parlav)

Meet cute Marathon: "I came to check out this support group but things have kind of been majorly sucking lately and you were there and I didn't even know anything was wrong but we've known each other for months what gives"


	6. Deadpool Lav and Daredevil Parvati

Daredevil is pulled from the background of Netflix's Daredevil. Deadpool is an amalgamation of comics/movies/whatnot.

Thanks to Lizzy for looking this over for me.

* * *

It all starts with the arson.

No, that's not quite right.

It starts in a lot of places.

It starts when Parvati is nine years old and blinded, but given heightened senses in return as a result of the toxic chemicals.

It starts when she's ten and her father dies and her mother doesn't come back.

It starts when she's twelve and a blind old man teaches her to fight.

It starts when she goes to law school and meets Neville. It starts when she quits her internship with one of the most prolific law firms in New York and Neville comes with her, agreeing to be broke and noble by her side.

It starts with the screaming.

Parvati isn't good at ignoring the screaming. So she dons all black and slips out into the night.

She only means to make the screaming stop. She doesn't mean to become a vigilante. She doesn't mean to become Daredevil.

But she does.

…

But after all of that, it starts with the arson.

She's not great with fire — the heat messes with her senses. But there's a kid screaming in there and she's really not good at ignoring the screaming. There's a kid in there and she's scared, _terrified_.

But Parvati goes in and she can't sense a damn thing.

She's choking on smoke and wondering if this is how she dies when she senses that she's no longer alone.

Suddenly she's being picked up in a fireman's carry and hauled out of the building. She manages to stop coughing long enough to say, "Wait, the kid!"

A voice, light and bubbly, says, "I got her out already. You're welcome."

She frowns. It wasn't really a favor to _her_ , saving someone's life.

The woman is wearing something that feels like a full suit made of an odd material. The handle of a sword bumps her shoulder. Parvati has _so many questions_.

The person carrying her pats her ass, and Parvati yelps. "Hey!"

"Oh, don't worry your pretty little ass, Modest Martha. I'm not going to do anything."

Parvati fixes her face into a dark glower. "You already have. I could make a serious case for assault right now."

Abruptly, she is dropped on her feet.

"All right, all right. You're right. I'm sorry. Won't happen again. No more life saving from me."

"You know that isn't what I meant."

"Sure, sure." The woman's voice has not lost it's sing-song tone. She turns back to face the building, and adds, "Wow, that is a lot of destruction."

Parvati tries to sigh, but there's still too much smoke in her lungs, so she just winds up coughing. When she comes up for air, the stranger is walking away.

"Hey!" Parvati calls. "What's your name?"

 _Are those… are those actually finger guns?_ Parvati wonders of the hand motion, but it's over too soon for her to tell. "Most people call me Deadpool, or the Merc with the Mouth. But you, sweetheart? You can call me Lavender."

…

Lavender means for that to be the end of it. Mostly. Okay, that's a lie. She's intrigued by the one they call Daredevil — she's always intrigued by beautiful ladies who dare to do things others only dream of.

No one knows anything about Daredevil. And Lavender has _a lot_ of contacts. The woman is private, a complete loner. She's all about justice. She's seen as stoic and reserved and isolated.

Lavender wants to know more.

She shrugs and retreats to her corner under the bridge, where nobody messes with her because she's dressed in a bright red body suit and carrying fucking katanas.

...

The next time they meet, it's at the scene of a triple murder. Parvati is standing in the middle of three bodies, trying to reach out with her senses, trying to understand. There was a single scream, and then nothing. No clues as to who. Or why.

She almost doesn't hear Deadpool drop down beside her. Almost.

"Oh, shit," Lavender says immediately, staring in one direction. "They stole the Mirror of Erised."

And, well, a museum would explain all of the glass. The Mirror of Erised is supposed to be magic, or alien. Parvati doesn't much care. But it's worth a lot, which would explain the murders.

"What's spray painted on the walls?" Parvati asks, because she can smell the paint, but she doesn't want to go feel around for what it might say. She hates asking.

She hears Lavender turn in circles, and then tip her head back and squint at the ceiling. "How the hell did you even know that was there?"

Parvati shrugs. "I'm observant." Her voice is flat.

"That's the Death Eaters gang sigil. The Dark Mark."

"Who leaves a gang sigil at a _robbery site_?" It slips out before Parvati means it too, but Lavender just laughs.

"The Death Eaters are dumbasses," she says. Then she _giggles_. While standing over bodies. _What the fuck_.

As Parvati moves to go, Lavender grabs her. "Don't _touch me_ ," she growls without thinking. Lavender moves her hand to her holster, and Parvati grimaces. "And don't touch my things."

"Just. Where are you going?"

"I'm going to see the Death Eaters, obviously."

"Can't I come with you?"

"I work alone."

"But… think of what we could do. Together."

" _I work alone_ ," Parvati says again through gritted teeth.

Lavender holds her hands up in surrender. "Fine, fine."

…

There are more Death Eaters than she expected, and they move like they can teleport.

She's interrogating one that she's caught alone outside their hideout and all she's got so far is that the Death Eaters did in fact take the mirror, when another one somehow sneaks up on her from behind, and suddenly her head is ringing and she's on the ground. She doesn't go down without a fight, not now, not ever, but it's not looking good. Until a shot fires, and one of the Death Eaters goes down. Another shot, another down.

Lavender blows on the end of her pistol like the worst kind of cocky asshole and says, "And _that's_ why they call me the Merc with the Mouth."

Parvati glares as best as she can with a possible concussion. She tries to get to her feet, trips, and almost winds up flat on her face.

Some part of her wants to stay here and die.

A much larger part of her is too goddamn stubborn for that.

"Now will you let me come?" Lavender says.

Parvati glares. But then, this is the second time Lavender has saved her life. Much as she never asked for it.

"Stop killing people," she says.

Lavender shrugs. "Eh, I can shoot non-fatally for you, sweet cheeks."

So they go in, Lavender with guns blazing, Parvati with fists held high.

They come out with the mirror, leaving behind a lot of groaning Death Eaters.

Parvati insists upon returning the mirror to the exhibit. Lavender moans about justice, but Parvati tells her justice is blind and Lavender helps carry it and put it back near the case.

She leaves a note that says, "Please increase your security" and is signed with a little heart. She leaves it on one of the bodies.

She is literally the _weirdest_. Why is Parvati starting to become _fond_?

..

Parvati winds up on her favorite roof, listening to the sounds of the city. She's not surprised when Lavender bounds up next to her.

"What are you doing?"

"Admiring the view," Parvati says with a smirk, because she is a contrary little shit sometimes, and she loves making stupid blind jokes, especially when people can't even call her on it.

"All architecture is great architecture after sunset."

"I wouldn't know," Parvati says. "Not much of an architecture person. I don't think I properly appreciate it."

Lavender hums, kicking her feet against the side of the building. After a moment of silence, Parvati gets up and parkours away.

..

Parvati flips through her window and goes into her bedroom to change out of her crime fighting outfit, but freezes when she hears a sound from her living room. She ties the mask back on and walks with silent steps back to her bedroom door.

She nearly cusses when she finds Deadpool sitting on her couch.

"Seriously, do you never go home?"

Lavender shrugs. "I don't have one."

"What?"

"I don't have a home."

"Aren't you a mercenary?"

"Yeah, but nobody really wants to rent to you when you look like I do."

Parvati stares blankly. She… doesn't actually have any idea what that means. She doesn't know what Lavender looks like.

She hears a rustling sound that she's pretty sure is Lavender removing her mask. She doesn't move.

Suddenly, Lavender takes a few steps closer.

"Can you even see through that thing? You can't, can you? Are you insane? Why the hell would you _blind yourself_ to fight?"

Parvati smirks. "I don't," she says.

She hears Lavender's small intake of breath. "You're _blind_?"

Parvati cocks her head. "Yeah. That a problem?"

Lavender shakes her head, and then seems to realize, and she trips over her words. "Sorry, I… no. Not a problem."

Parvati just smirks again. "I have heightened senses. They give me a pretty accurate picture of the world. Enough to fight."

"Hot damn," Lavender breathes. Parvati smiles, just a little.

"Want to see the roof? It's one of my favorite views of the city," Parvati says, because she is still a shit.

"You… you _fucker_ ," Lavender says as she realizes exactly how many blind jokes Parvati has made.

Parvati grins ever so slightly.

…

Lavender seems more honest on the roof. Less covered in shields.

She tells Parvati about her scars. She tells her that she thinks she's immortal, and she never wanted to be. She just wasn't ready to die.

Parvati returns her honesty by telling Lavender her name. And then saying she can stop by any time. "After all, I'm kind of fond of my new shadow," she says with a grin.

"Why do you even like me? I'm a mess," Lavender says.

Parvati smiles sadly.

"You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not."

* * *

For: Meet cute Marathon: Person A is a superhero and is in love with their superhero partner/sidekick/nemesis, Person B.

(Scavenger Hunt: Write a fic featuring the item: The Mirror of Erised) (My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult Using: (dialogue) "You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not." (occupation) Lawyer (plot point) Arson) (Sneks: 38. California king snake- (AU) superhero) (Gobstones: Orange Stone - Injustice. Accuracy: (dialogue) "Don't touch my things." Power: (action) Tripping; Technique: (trait) Loner) (Character Appreciation: Write about someone poor) (Disney: Poverty - Write a homeless!AU) (Trashcan Man: (word) fire, (word) destruction, (color) black) (Showtime: 11. Defying Gravity - (dialogue) "Think of what we could do together.") (Sweater Day - Write about a modest person) (Buttons: word: dare) (Liza's Loves 10. Southside - Write about a gang) (Jenny's Jovial Quotes - "All architecture is great architecture after sunset." - G.K. Chesterton) (insane house: trait: loner) (365. prompts: 38. superhero!AU)


	7. tattoo artist

Parvati scowls when she sees the pair come through the door. It's a tall, lanky redhead and a gorgeous brunette. They're both attractive, and they're both solidly drunk of their arses.

"Percy," she calls. "It was definitely your turn to deal with the next set of drunks!"

Percy is in the back, tattooing his nephew, Freddy, who just turned 18.

"Kind of busy," he calls back, his voice full of snark. She grins, because that's exactly what she expected.

"You owe me," she says with a sing-song tone.

"Take it up with Aberforth!"

Parvati is still grinning as she slides behind the desk. She looks at the redhead, who looks marginally more sober. "Sheesh, where'd you dig this bozo up?"

"Hey!" says the brunette. "That's rude. Now we need to duel. For my honor."

Parvati blinks. She gets a lot of drunks, working here, but not a lot of duels for honor.

"I'm not gonna do that," she says eventually. "You're drunk."

"Am not!" the woman insists. "Now take a stand and fight me or face the consequences!"

"You're very fighty," Parvati tells her. "Are you sure that's wise?"

"Angry people are not always wise," puts in the redhead. Parvati pauses for a second, and then turns to him.

"Did you just quote Pride and Prejudice at me?"

The redhead frowns. "No."

Parvati's just going to let that go.

"What are you guys looking for?"

"I'm always," slurs the woman, "lookin' for something."

"Wow, okay, that was incredibly unhelpful. Thanks."

"Tattoos!" says the redhead with a grin.

"Well, at least that tells me you know where you are."

"Lavender," the man says, "is learning to embrace her unprofessional side."

The woman shrugs. "You moon the wrong person at an office party, and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more. But that's okay. Pretty sure I can thoroughly rock unprofessional."

Parvati looks her up and down and is sorely tempted to agree.

In the end, they both wind up booking appointments for two weeks out, the man with Percy and the woman with Aberforth. Parvati makes the deposit the full price, as their penalty for coming in drunk. Lavender giggles at her and says, "In exchange for my wealth, can I at least have your hand in marriage?"

The man swats at her. "Lavender, stop proposing to all the pretty girls. You're going to wind up with an unexpected bride."

She turns the doe eyes on him and says, "Would that be so bad?"

When they finally leave, Parvati fully doesn't expect to see either of them again.

…

Lavender wakes up with a throbbing headache, a _massive_ credit card bill, and, written in sharpie on her hand, _Abe's Tattoos, March 17, 2PM._

At least drunk Lavender thought to leave her a message.

From her floor comes a groan. "What the hell did we _do_?" Ron asks. She rolls over far enough to look at him. Apparently, he chose to sleep on her floor, head near the wall and feet under her bed.

"I am never drinking again," Lavender says.

"Lav, you say that literally every time."

"I know. But this time I mean it."

Hermione, Ron's girlfriend and Lavender's roommate, chooses that time to wander in.

"I made bacon, if you want it," she says.

"Hermione, you are a goddess descended to Earth. The heavens themselves sing praises to your name."

At that point, Ron's phone rings. He looks at it, then groans again. "Does someone else want to talk to Percy? It's too early for that kind of torture."

"Your brother is not that bad," Hermione says. "Just pick up the phone."

Sighing, Ron does.

Percy says something, and Ron's face goes white.

"Erm," Ron says. And then, "Um." And then, "I… yeah."

"Bye, Perce."

Ron hangs up, and thumps his head on the floor.

"Apparently we made tattoo appointments," he tells the ceiling.

Hermione grins at him. "You should do it." Ron groans again.

…

Lavender wants to go. Ron does not.

"Are you kidding? My mum would kill me."

"She doesn't have a problem with Percy, does she? And he's covered in tattoos."

"Yeah, but that's his work. Mine requires me to look somewhat professional."

"You're going to chicken out, aren't you?"

Ron just nods vigorously. Lavender rolls her eyes.

"Fine. But I'm going."

…

The pretty woman who proposed to Parvati on her way out does, in fact, come back two weeks later. This time, without the redhead.

Parvati has seen Aberforth's sketch. She honestly cannot _wait_ to see what happens.

Parvati leads Lavender to Aberforth's chair. Aberforth enters the small room and grunts at them both. Parvati sits in the chair for friends and family, because she's not missing this for the world.

Aberforth pulls out the design.

Lavender blinks.

On the page is the largest, _pinkest_ pegasus Parvati has ever seen. The view is head on, but spread out behind it are massive wings which, when traced on Lavender's back, will wind up with wingtips on her shoulder. The hooves will wind up at the small of her back.

Lavender squeaks, just a little. Parvati smirks.

"Just like you asked," Aberforth says gruffly. Lavender looks at him. She looks at Parvati. She looks back at Aberforth. She squeaks a little more.

Parvati sighs, and starts to intervene — "If it's not what you want—"

"It's _perfect_ ," Lavender interrupts her. "Oh, she's gorgeous. The shading is amazing. The color is perfect. It'll come out that color on my skin?"

Aberforth blinks at her gushing. Wordlessly, he nods.

"Oh, it's everything I hoped and more. Thank you!"

Parvati is staring at Lavender in shock. She was expecting more… explosions. She was expecting Lavender to tell Abe to redo the whole thing, and Abe to get mad because she asked for something she never really wanted. She didn't expect this.

It's kind of… adorable.

Lavender strips, shameless, and locks her eyes on Parvati as she does. She lowers herself into the chair in the most _blatantly seductive_ way Parvati has ever seen.

Which, really, only serves to answer the question as to whether Lavender only likes her when she's drunk.

And make Parvati flush. It does that too.

Lavender gets a lot less smooth when the tattoo gun approaches her skin.

"Oh god," she says softly. Aberforth grunts and pulls the gun back.

"You okay?" he says.

"I… ah. Don't love needles. But it's fine. I want this."

Parvati rolls her eyes and puts her hand out. "Here."

"What?"

"Hold my hand. It'll distract you and give you something to grab."

Lavender gives her a shaky smile, but does as she says.

"Thanks," she says softly.

Parvati just gives her a small smile in return.

"Just the outline, today," Parvati tells her, figuring the conversation will distract her. "You've got a lot of feathers to shade, so you're probably going to need at least two more sessions with Abe. I'll help you book those when you're done. You'll have to give it time to heal in between."

Lavender gives her a grateful smile, so Parvati keeps talking. By the time the outline is done, she has no feeling in her fingers, but she's told Lavender about her parents, about Padma, about boarding school, and about most of her childhood.

As Lavender is booking her next appointment, she leans across the counter. It's a well practiced move that pushes up her breasts, drawing Parvati's eyes directly to them. They're round and plush and Parvati wants to drag her fingers over the skin and see if she can draw goosebumps. _Fuck, this woman is going to be the death of her_.

When she finally drags her eyes back up to Lavender's face, Parvati finds a massive smirk.

"Should we bother with dinner, or should we just go straight to dessert?" Lavender says, and _goddamn she is smooth_.

So in response, Parvati just raises an eyebrow, and then says, "I'll bring the whipped cream," with the most blatant wink she can manage.

Lavender grins, pure and bright.

* * *

Meet cute Marathon: "you drunkenly paid to get a tattoo at my parlor and didn't want to lose the money but the day has come and I have to hold your hand while someone else tattoos you"

(Library lovers Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (genre) Romance (dialogue) "Angry people are not always wise." (word) Wealth (word) Bride) (Scavenger Hunt: Write about Percy Weasley) (Snake 57. Brazilian smooth snake- (character) Fred Weasley II) (Char Appreciation: (Relationship) Brother) (Disney C5:Iago - Use the dialogue; "Sheesh, where'd you dig this bozo up?") (Book Club: Whitney Horgan: (plot point) challenging someone, (word) stand, (word) consequence) (Showtime: 17. March of the Witch Hunters - (trait) Coward (SORRY RON)) (Days: World Bartender Day - Write about Aberforth Dumbledore) (Buttons: P3: Ron/Hermione) (Lyric Alley: 24. I'm always lookin' for something) (Liza's Loves 3. Screwdriver - Write about someone using a muggle item (tattoo gun)) (Jenny's Jovial Quotes: 7. "You moon the wrong person at an office party, and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more." - Jeff Foxworthy)


	8. Celebrity Clairvoyant LavenderFan Par

The breakup is well publicized. Lavender, Parvati's idol and the world's most renowned Seer and Clairvoyant, has broken up with her latest girlfriend.

The thing is, it happens when Parvati is in the car, driving the hour between home and school after the weekend. Padma tells her when she gets to school, a full half hour after it happens.

"Lavender Brown is single."

"Really? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Padma just rolls her eyes.

Parvati doesn't intend to do anything. But then she's sitting there, staring at Lavender's twitter icon — she's so gorgeous, staring off into the distance like she doesn't even know the photo is being taken.

Parvati means the tweet mostly as a joke. She sends a selfie — her best one, where her fair looks windswept and the rings on her fingers bring out her skin tone and her makeup is on point and her red scarf makes her brown eyes pop — and a proposal underneath. "Date me instead?"

She's pretty proud of it. Her cat, Artemis, meows at her, a cry for attention. She seems less proud of Parvati.

Parvati narrows her eyes at Artemis.

"Stop judging me," she says.

She doesn't expect the response.

Not from Artemis. From Lavender.

It comes through two hours later.

"Maybe I'm naive, or maybe I'm just a believer. But you're gorgeous, and exactly as courageous as I need right now. And you seem clever enough. Maybe a change from the idiots I usually date. Dinner?"

Parvati squeals in delight. She has a date. _With Lavender Brown._

"I once dated a guy who was so dumb he couldn't count to twenty-one unless he was naked, so I get where you're coming from. I'd love dinner.

She may not survive this, but if she dies, at least she'll die happy.

* * *

Meet Cute: You're a celebrity who just broke up and I tweeted you a selfie with the caption "date me" as a joke but you thought I was serious?

(Char App: 3. (Object) Muggle car) ( **Disney C8: Raja** \- Write about a cat) ( **Mother Abigail:** (emotion) pride, (au) Seer, (word) survive) (Showtime: No Good Deed - (word) Attention) (Lyric Alley 1: I'm just a believer) (Liza's Loves 30. Hollywood - Write about a star (not in the sky - I mean a celeb)) (Jenny's Jovial Quotes: 10. "I once dated a guy who was so dumb he couldn't count to twenty-one unless he was naked." - Joan Rivers) (Sneks: 12. Cascabel - (object) scarf) (Insane House: Plot Point - Getting over a breakup) (365. 261. Sexuality - Bisexual) (Scavenger Hunt: Write a drabble of exactly 300 words using the prompts: Ring, "Really? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" and delight.)


	9. Reaper and Dying Woman

Parvati is Reaping a man with the most amazing moustache when she feels the tug. She guides the man out of the dark and toward the light, and hands him off to Tom, a demon that she's completely terrified of..

She follows it to the hospital. The woman is young.

"Have you come to steal my soul?" says the woman without looking up. Parvati drifts closer.

"No. I'm here to help you move on."

The woman looks up at her. She looks Parvati up and down, slow and steady.

"Wow, I didn't know death was quite so gorgeous."

Parvati throws her head back and laughs. "I'm not Death. I just work for him. I owe him a debt."

"How do you wind up owing Death a debt?"

Parvati shrugs. "Some people make deals with demons. Some people make them with Death himself."

"Well. You must be something special, then," the woman says with a wink.

Parvati looks at her flatly. "Will you come with me?"

"What if I'm not done living yet?"

"Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It's not the time that matters, it's the person."

The woman looks at her sadly. "I didn't live very much in 20 years. I spent most of it in this bed."

Parvati looks back.

"Maybe you'll do better in the afterlife," she says eventually.

"Maybe I'd do better with you," the woman says with a wink.

Parvati checks her file. "You're destined for heaven, dear. Reapers don't go to Heaven, and I still owe Death a couple million souls before I make it there. "

"Maybe I could help you."

"And why would you want to do that?"

"Maybe because I've been alone for a long time. Maybe because I think you're beautiful. And maybe because no one should spend a millenia alone."

* * *

A was fatally wounded and suddenly finds themself looking down at their own lifeless body in confusion. B is a reaper and offers A guidance... but A doesn't want to do the whole 'follow the light' rubbish. A wants to flirt with the cute reaper.

Insane House: "Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It's not the time that matters, it's the person."

Disney: Jafar - Write about someone manipulative. OR. Write about someone with an awesome moustache.

Showtime: 8. I'm Not That Girl - (word) Steal

Randall Flagg: (character) Voldemort, (word) dark, (au) demon

Lyrically: 19. And I'm in the ground

Liza's Loves: Ward 8 - Write about someone in a hospital/institution ward


	10. Accidental speed dating

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

Except that Parvati is neither a man nor in possession of good fortune.

Yet Padma still seems convinced she's in want of a wife.

Every Thursday, when she and Padma go to the Duck Cafe, Padma will enter, survey the room, and point out a woman for Parvati to go talk to. Just because she's happy with Dean, she's convinced Parvati needs someone in her life.

Parvati, on the other hand, surveys the room to see if Remus, the owner, has added any new ducks. It's a weird quirk and a large part of why she loves this cafe. Remus and his husband Sirius collect rubber ducks of all sizes and colors, and have taken to sticking them all over the cafe. She asked Remus, once, what they meant, and he threw his head back and laughed, exposing the scars on his neck that she's never asked about.

"Honestly, Sirius bought me a duck once for my birthday, and it kind of spiraled out of control."

Parvati loves the ducks. They're happy, cheerful additions to the cafe, and she likes to see if she can spot the new ones and guess what occasion Sirius was buying them for.

So she goes with Padma to the Duck Cafe because she loves the ducks, and because Remus will always chat with her if he has the time. He seems fond of them both. He talks about literature with Padma (who teaches literature at the local university) and mathematics with Parvati, because she teaches maths. They'd never meant to wind up teaching at the same university, but they had.

Sirius, on the other hand, when he comes in, loves to make stupid puns and talk about ducks with Parvati, and talk about cute boys with Padma. It's not that he's not just as smart as Remus, because Parvati can tell he is, but he hated school for some reason he refuses to elaborate on.

Parvati is set up and grading papers already that Thursday when Padma comes in.

"What about–"

"I'd rather take coffee than compliments, just now," Parvati says without looking up. Padma sighs.

"Why can't you just try?" Padma asks.

"Because I'm tired of trying," Parvati says. "I'm fine. I'm ready to wait until love finds me, instead."

Padma huffs at her, and then goes to the counter to order them both a coffee. She talks with Remus as he makes the coffees, because Remus almost always works Thursday nights. When she comes back, she seems to have more of a skip in her step.

Parvati eyes her warily.

"What?" Padma says.

"What's got you so happy all of the sudden?"

Padma shrugs. "I'm not telling. Use your imagination. Oh, and in case I haven't told you yet, Dean booked us tickets to a show next Thursday. Can we do Friday instead?"

Parvati shrugs. "I guess so."

…

So Parvati shows up to the Duck Cafe at 6:30 PM the following Friday to meet Padma.

Except that the clock turns to 7 and Parvati's coffee is getting cold and Padma still hasn't showed up when a drop-dead gorgeous brunette slips into the seat across her, and says, "They say you and I only have five minutes, but I can tell we're going to need longer."

"Erm, what?" Parvati says. And that's when she really looks around. The cafe is busy for 7 PM, and there is a multitude of people milling around with name-tags.

In fact, the woman across from her is also wearing a name tag. _Lavender, She/her, pansexual_ it says.

It's at that point that Remus stumbles in, looking harried. "Sorry I'm late. My husband _shot_ our alarm clock."

"Erm, Remus, it's 7 PM," Parvati points out from her table near the door.

Remus looks at her, blinking. "Yes. Yes it is. And you're here for speed dating? That's… unusual."

Well. Speed dating would explain some things.

She's going to murder Padma. She's going to murder Padma, and then dissolve her body in pure acid so that no one will ever find a trace of her. And then she's going to tell Dean that Padma got cold feet and ran away.

"I'm dead, right?" she asks the woman across from her. "I'm dead. We're both dead. We are dead, and this is hell."

"Oh, honey," says Lavender from across from her. "You're too much of an angel for this to be hell."

Damn. That was actually pretty smooth, Parvati has to admit.

And… maybe this is love trying to find her?

Or maybe Parvati doesn't care, because this woman is beautiful, quick witted, pan, and interested in her.

So she says, "I like your earrings."

And Lavender grins, and says, "Thanks. They're from an ex, but honey, I've never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back."

Lavender is right. Five minutes is not going to be enough.

So Parvati pulls in a breath, smiles, and says, "What do you say we ditch speed dating and go get dinner?"

And Lavender beams back. "Sounds perfect."

* * *

Meet cute Marathon: Although A normally goes to the cafe on Thursday evenings, A's sibling (or close friend) had called in tears, and s/he had been forced to miss it. So instead A goes the next evening, sitting down at a table with a fresh cup of tea, and then abruptly realised that Friday night was Speed Dating night as B slides into the chair opposite and says, "They say you and I only have five minutes, but I can tell we're going to need longer."

(Char App; 2. (Object) Rubber duck) (Disney S4: A Whole New World - Write about a date that the characters don't want to end.) (Nadine Cross: (profession) professor, (word) pure, (dialogue) "We… are… dead… and… this… is… Hell!") (Showtime: 3. The Wizard and I - (word) Quirk) (Buttons C1: Remus Lupin) (Lyric Alley 28. As life breaks new ground) (Liza's Loves: Death by Chocolate - Write about Remus Lupin) (Jenny's Jovial Quotes: 2. "I've never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back." - Zsa Zsa Gabor) (Library: Little Women - Louisa May Alcott (relationship) Sisters, (word) Imagination, (dialogue) "I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now." (Insane House: Quote - "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." (365: 132. Starter: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.") (Sneks: Egyptian asp - (dialogue) "Sorry I'm late, my husband shot our alarm clock.") (Scavenger Hunt: Write a fic breaking up a canon pairing (breaking up RemusTonks))


	11. fake date to my sister's wedding

Meet cute Marathon: A's parents have been hassling them with the same old thing for years: "why haven't you found someone yet?" Not wanting to spend another aggravating Christmas dinner with the family alone, A calls up a friend and tells the friend that they needs a date to take to dinner. As a result, the friend sends an acquaintance, B, to pretend to be a loving partner of six months.

(Scavenger Hunt: write a family fic.) (Insane House: Plot Point - Meeting someone's family for the first time) (Fem Feb: padma/luna) (Char App 5. (Relationship) Father) (Disney C2: Abu - Write about a faithful Pet) (Francis Goldsmith: (character) Lily Evans-Potter, (word) pregnant, (setting) garden, (object) diary, (emotion) hope, (action) pleading) (Showtime 10. A Sentimental Man - (relationship) Father/Child) (Buttons: D4: "Does s/he know?") (Lyric Alley: 14. But I get a little lonely) (Liza's Loves. 8. Blushing Bride - Write about a woman on her wedding day) (Jenny's Jovial Quotes: "If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them." - Sue Grafton) (365. trope: fake dating 0 (Snek 46. Australian scrub python- (word) luxury) (Library: Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll; (Item) clock; (action) Falling; "Who are you?")

* * *

Parvati is tired of this.

She loves her family, she really does. She's always been her father's daughter, quick to anger but just as quick to joy. Padma is like their mother, quieter and more reserved, but Parvati has always been more like their father.

But her mother won't stop asking when she's going to find a steady relationship. And now Padma's getting married and her mother's insistence is only getting sharper.

So it is that a week before the wedding, she winds up calling Seamus in a fit of desperation.

"Seamus, please, for the love of the gods, tell me you can find me a date in the next week. My mother is driving me insane."

"Well hello to you too, Parvati. So nice to hear from you. Yes, I am doing well, thanks for asking."

"Oh, shove it," Parvati says, but she's laughing.

"Wow, what a way to talk to someone when you're begging for help."

She rolls her eyes, but she's still grinning. "Seamus. Because you are a fabulous human being. Will you please help me find a date to my sister's wedding?"

Seamus hums thoughtfully down the line. "I'll find you someone. I'm assuming you want the rehearsal and the wedding covered?"

"The gods bless you," Parvati says in relief. "Send me her phone number when you have it?"

"Will do, love."

…

Parvati goes to her parents house that night, because Padma is starting to get nervous and Parvati took the whole week off in advance, figuring this might happen.

She walks in the front door and Helena, her parents dog, runs up and puts her paws on Parvati's legs. Parvati grins. "Hey, love. Did you miss me?"

"She always does," her father says warmly.

Her mother gives her a look when she notices that Parvati has shown up alone. "Oh, mum, we have room for my girlfriend, right? I forgot to mention. She'll be here for the rehearsal on Thursday."

Her mother's face brightens. Her father steps forward, cutting a little bit of the heat on Parvati by giving her a hug.

"Love you, dad," she says in his ear. He smiles at her.

"This girlfriend is real, right?" he whispers back.

Parvati tips her head back and laughs, and then whispers back, "She'll be here."

She hopes and prays that Seamus will come through instead of making her a liar.

Her mother hugs her tightly and says, "I'm just so glad you're not alone anymore."

Parvati isn't sure what makes her say it, but, "Actually, we've been dating for almost six months now," tumbles out of her mouth without her control.

And the look on her mother's face means that she cannot take it back.

She looks at her father, sees the look on his face, and shrugs slightly.

So that's how Parvati winds up in established relationship with someone she's never met.

…

Helena is curled up on her bed when Parvati finally gets a chance to drop her suitcase. "Hey, Hell dog," Parvati says to her. She scratches Helena on the head. "At least you don't care if I'm a fraud, right?"

She dramatically falls on her bed next to Helena and stares at the ceiling, wondering if she can even convince a stranger to lie to her parents.

She really just doesn't want to ruin Padma's wedding day.

There's a knock on her door.

"Come in," she calls.

Padma pokes her head in.

Parvati grins, patting the bed beside her. Padma smiles and lays down beside her, Helena between them. It makes Parvati feel five years old again.

"Can you believe you're getting married this week?" Parvati says after the silence rests for a moment. Padma tips her head to look at Parvati, and then smiles.

"I can, but only because Luna is perfect."

"How did you know," Parvati says to the ceiling, " that she was the one?"

She breathes out heavily. "I didn't. Not at the beginning. But the more time we spent together, the more it felt like we had always known each other. And when I thought I might lose her, that was when I knew."

Parvati finally looks at her.

"What if I never find someone, Pads? What if I'm just stuck like this, a little bit lonely, a little bit bitter, for the rest of forever?"

Padma rolls on her side, resting her head on her hand and looking at Parvati intently.

"I thought you didn't mind. I thought you were tired of mother nagging."

"I am tired. But mostly because I don't need the reminder. It's not like I don't _know_ that I'm alone."

Padma takes her hand. "You're never alone."

Parvati knows her smile is twisted in a way she doesn't mean it to be, as she says, "There's a difference. Between family and someone who's just mine, as I am theirs. You know that."

…

They hold the rehearsal in the garden, where the wedding will be in two days. It's a luxurious affair. Their parents have spared no expense.

Parvati is starting to worry, because Seamus hasn't contacted her yet. But then, an hour before the rehearsal dinner, one of the maids leads a gorgeous brunette wearing an emerald wrap dress steps into the back yard.

"Parvati, darling, I'm here," she calls, and Parvati pauses, and then dashes over to throw her arms around the stranger.

"Thank gods you're here, and if anyone asks we've been dating six months thanks," Parvati says all in a rush.

The woman curls her arms around Parvati, says in her ear, "My name is Lavender." And then she's kissing Parvati, and it doesn't feel like a first kiss.

It feels kind of like stars colliding.

"Wow," Parvati breathes when Lavender lets her go. "What a hello."

Lavender throws her head back and laughs.

…

Lavender watches them as they finish their rehearsal. Parvati can't keep her gaze from flicking over to Lavender periodically, but the woman seems largely unconcerned.

When the rehearsal is finished, Parvati steps over and greets Lavender with a kiss on the cheek. She has to bend down just a bit, but only because she's wearing heels while Lavender is in flat.

She points out Padma. "That's the beautiful bride herself, my sister, Padma."

"Does she know?" Lavender asks quietly.

Padma glances at her face, but she doesn't seem bothered by the lie. "She does. And I think my father may, but my mother definitely doesn't, and that's how I'd like to keep it." Lavender nods, and when Padma comes over, Lavender greets her with enthusiasm.

"Padma, darling, so good to see you again."

Padma roles with this.

"I'm so glad you could make it for the wedding!" she says loudly.

And then, quieter, to Lavender, "Um, who are you?"

Lavender giggles. Parvati cannot help but notice how beautiful she is when she's laughing.

"This is Lavender," she says quietly.

"Mum, have you met Lavender," Padma calls loudly. Their mother takes this as her cue and seems to appear from out of nowhere.

"Hello, darling," her mother says. "I love your dress. And your flats. Where did you get them?"

Lavender beams. "These are Harvey Nichols. Thanks for noticing! And so comfortable. I maintain that if high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them."

And Parvati can tell that her mother is already charmed.

Before her mother can steal her fake girlfriend away before Parvati even gets a chance to talk to her, Parvati cuts in and says, "Lav, honey, I'll show you where you can drop your things and freshen up before dinner, if you'd like?"

"Sounds perfect," Lavender says, and Parvati guides her up to her room before anyone can stop them.

She falls onto her bed, laughing. "Harvey Nichols. Oh my gods, my mum probably loves you already."

After a moment she reigns in her laughter, sits up, and sticks out a hand. "Hi. I'm Pavati, your fake girlfriend for the next three days. I'm eternally grateful for your help."

Lavender grins back, looks her up and down, and says, "Seamus did not exaggerate how smoking hot you were. I'm Lavender. Seamus is one of my best friends, and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm lonely, which is how I wound up landing this role."

Parvati feels her cheeks warm at the compliment.

Lavender smirks a little at the sight. But then she raises an eyebrow. "It's not a problem if I actually think you're hot, is it?"

Parvati's blush darkens and she stammers out, "Oh… I mean. No. Because I also. Think that. About you."

She wonders if she's always been quite this awkward.

Lavender's smirk grows.

"Oh, really?" she purrs. Parvati swallows.

"Erm. Yes," Parvati says. "But considering the inherent consent issues in a deception of this level, I'm still voting on a safeword if someone gets uncomfortable."

"Smart, considerate, and sexy? Hot damn," Lavender says. Parvati swallows again.

"Erm. Pineapple?"

Lavender tips her head back and laughs. Parvati tries not to get distracted by the pale line of her neck.

"Pineapple is just fine, darling," Lavender says with a smirk. Parvati looks at the clock, and jumps up.

"Dinner! Late! We… will be."

Lavender just smiles and hooks her arm through Parvati's.

"Don't worry, love, I trust you to get me there."

…

Lavender is a thrilling conversationalist, and spectacular at managing a conversation with many different personalities at once. She woos Parvati's mother flawlessly, entertains her father, talks to Padma like they've known each other for ages, and even seems to get on well enough with Luna, which is a feat, because first impressions for Luna can be very hit or miss. Parvati has come to adore her sister's fiance, but it came after a long string of _what the hell_ moments.

Her mother, of course, thoroughly interrogates both Lavender and Parvati about their relationship, and Parvati finds that Lavender is very good at improv, and that they work really well together.

And Lavender adores Helena, which automatically increases Parvati's opinion of her tenfold. Anyone who doesn't love the family dog is immediately suspect.

Parvati looks around the dining table at her parents, who are holding hands under the table and hoping no one sees, her sister, who is smiling widely at her soon to be bride, Luna, who is staring at something above the table and commenting on it with a dreamy smile, and at Lavender, who is engaged in all of this.

 _This is what I want_ , she thinks.

She meets eyes with her father across the table, and he smiles at her, flicking his eyes to Lavender and grinning. Parvati ducks her head, and then smiles back at him.

She's missed her family.

…

The day of Padma's wedding dawns bright and sunny. Parvati sends her blessings to Surya for lighting the sky.

She dresses in her dark blue sari and hurries to help Padma into her own bright red one.

Padma only loosely practices Hinduism (even less than Parvati herself, and Parvati barely considers herself practicing), and Luna practices no religion at all but calls herself a humanist. Though their parents had pushed for a more traditional Hindu wedding, Padma had put her foot down and told their mother that she refused to stand on multiple days of ceremony that neither she nor her bride actually cared about.

"I just want to stand in front of everyone I care about and tell them that Luna is mine. And that I'm hers. That's all I want."

"Then that's what you'll get," their father had said.

And so their planned ceremony winds up mostly Western with some Hindu influences.

She helps Padma do her hair, and when Padma stands up, Parvati hugs her tightly.

"I'm so happy for you," she says.

She hands Padma her bouquet, red roses and yellow pansies, and carefully grips Padma's hand.

"I love you forever and always," she tells Padma.

Padma smiles at her. "Always and forever." She blinks. "You're going to make me cry."

"Hey, now. Don't mess up your makeup," Parvati says. Padma gives a wet, wobbly laugh. "This isn't goodbye," Parvati says. "It's not. I promise."

"No, but things will be different now," Padma says.

"Different is good." Parvati smiles at her, soft but genuine. "You're always going to be my sister."

Padma hugs her again, even tighter.

"I love you, Parvati," she says quietly.

"Love you, too," Parvati says quietly back.

…

And after the ceremony, when she goes up to talk to Padma and Luna, Luna looks straight at her and says, "I'm glad you found someone to take a chance on."

And Parvati looks at Lavender and she thinks, _yeah. I'm glad too._


	12. angel and demon meet at a train station

In which angel/demon always feels vaguely Judeo-Christian in origin, but this holds strictly to no particular religion. I just really wanted demon, stripper Parvati.

Warning for very blatant seduction.

* * *

Parvati steps off the train with a strut in her step. She hopped on the train yesterday, going nowhere in particular, knowing it was time to move on. She may have left a few bodies in her wake, but nobody could prove that was her.

Occasional murder was just a hazard of being a demon. Besides, she only ever killed the real dicks. She was just expediting their trips to hell.

But she's starting anew. She's starting over.

The strut in her step doesn't last long.

Her handbag catches on the railing. She hears the fabric split.

Her things go everywhere. She scoops up her phone, her wallet, and her gloves. She finds a perfume bottle which has miraculously not shattered, and a tube of lipstick. She shoves everything in the front pocket of her suitcase and then looks around.

A gorgeous brunette is twirling her halo around her finger, smirking.

"Subtlety is not your strong point, is it?" The woman asks.

Parvati raises her eyebrows.

"Maybe we should go somewhere private to talk."

Parvati looks her up and down. She hesitates, but then she sees the glowing circle tattooed on her neck.

"Oh, darling," she purrs at the angel in front of her. "While I love private sessions, I don't think you could afford me."

The angel blushes bright red. It only makes her prettier.

She takes Parvati's wrist, and Parvati tuts at her. "Oh, honey. Rough housing is extra."

The angel's hand snaps away as though Parvati has burned her.

"I know who you are," she hisses. "You're the demon who's been masquerading as an angel while doing… _perverted things_."

Parvati raises her eyebrows, smirking. "If you think that's perverted, you must live a very boring life. It's just a little stripping."

"Is this really the place?"

Parvati rolls her eyes. "Excessively loyal to your ideals of morality, are we? Fine, fine. But only because I've got nothing better to do."

It is clear in the angel's eyes that she doesn't trust Parvati. Parvati doesn't care. She hands the angel her suitcase and gives her a look that clearly says, _well? Lead the way._

The angel sighs, but lead the way she does.

...

The wind up in a mid-level hotel, not quite skeevy enough to rent by the hour but not much better. The angel has no personal items that Parvati can see. The room is drab and entirely unexciting.

"Oh, honey," Parvati drawls. "You can't live like this."

The angel shugs, shaking out her wings and dropping the disguise of fully human now that they're alone.

God, sometimes Parvati forgets how gorgeous the real things are. What she wears on stage are only a pale imitation.

This angel has brown primary feathers that fade into bright white secondaries and white down. They glow faintly in the dim hotel room.

"I don't live here," she says, eventually. "They sent me after you."

Parvati raises her eyebrows. "Why? For a little casual murder? I've seen them forgive worse."

The angel's face is full of righteous fury as she turns on Parvati.

"It's not because of the murder! It's because of the… the…"

"Stripping?" Parvati offers casually, inspecting her fingernails.

"That!"

"Is it so hard to say the word?" Parvati asks, raising an eyebrow at her.

The angel stammers. "I… It's not the… the… stripping, so much as it is the costume."

Parvati snaps her fingers, changing her outfit to the one she uses when on stage. The jaunty gold halo sits atop her dark curls. Her bra is as white as the angel's down feathers. The wings are on a harness, rigged to look like it can move them back and forth when really that's all Parvati's doing. When fully spread, they're almost eight feet wide — nowhere near the length of a real angel's, but fairly substantial in their own right. Her panties match her bra.

"You mean this?" she says innocently.

She watches the angel's gaze catch on the swell of her breasts for a moment before she looks away. Her face is a bright crimson.

"Yes, that!" her voice cracks. It's hard to tell if it's appalled or intrigued. Parvati chooses to believe it's the latter.

She bites her lip strategically, letting her teeth drag over it. "I see the problem," she finally says in a low voice. "You like it too much."

The angel squeaks. "It's… you're a demon!"

"Oh, honey, you can just call me Parvati," she purrs.

"I… demons shouldn't be wearing that!"

Parvati raises her eyebrows. She snaps again, letting the glamour around her tail and her horns drop, losing the wings and halo, and letting her sparse clothing turn blood red.

"Is this better, love?"

The angel's gaze flicks back to her. It sticks on the horns for a moment, drops to linger at her breasts again, and then follows the line of her tail where is curls around her thigh and up, the tip landing just below her bellybutton.

The angel squeaks again. This time, she doesn't look away. Parvati smirks.

"Can't complain about this one, can you, darling?"

Parvati steps forward. The angel doesn't move.

"Can I at least get a name, love?"

"Lavender," the angel says. The word comes out breathless. It's beautiful.

"Lavender," Parvati purrs. She likes the way it feels in her mouth. "Now, Lavender, I may be a demon, but I still have firm rules about consent. So I'm going to ask if I can kiss you now, and I'm going to need you to say yes or no. Okay?"

Mutely, Lavender nods. Parvati steps forward and takes her chin carefully in hand.

"May I kiss you?" she breathes.

After the space of a moment where Parvati thinks Lavender is going to say no and this is all going to be over, Lavender whispers in return, "Yes."

And Parvati kisses her.

* * *

Herbology Assignment: Task 1: Write about someone who wears a disguise.

Meet Cute Marathon: A is rolling into the station of a brand new town, feeling nervous about not knowing anyone or where they should be going next - and just as A steps off the train, their bag catches on something and rips open! Contents spill everywhere. B notices and stops a (somewhat embarrassing) item from rolling onto the tracks and hands it over to A with a questioning look.

971 words.

Writing club (Char App 13. (Trait) Loyal) (Lloyd Henreid: (plot point) murder, (word) trust, (trait) loyal) (Buttons O2: Perfume) (Lyric Alley 8. I'm goin' no where) (Liza's Loves 27. Pornstar - Write about someone in the adult entertainment industry - (5 bonus points))

Insane House: AU: angels and demons

365\. A first kiss.

Sneks 55. Hook nosed sea snake- (dialogue) "Subtlety is not your strong point, is it?"

Library Lovers: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare; (au) Angels and Demons; (plot point) Tattoos; (word) Circle


	13. fallen angel in my shed, soulmates

It started out like an ordinary day.

It was one of those perfect summer days - the sun was shining, a gentle breeze was blowing, the birds were singing and the lawnmower was broken. That is, her neighbor, Mr. Snape's lawnmower. He was one of those people who loved to ruin beautiful, halcyon summer days with the sound of endless buzzing.

Parvati figured it would be a good day to trim her hedges, so she went out front to check them. After all, they didn't get sun like this all the time, and she might as well spend it outside.

The neighborhood children seemed to think the same, as they were out in droves. A few were playing a game of what roughly resembles rugby in the street, making Lavender glad she lived on a cul-de-sac.

She watched Louis Weasley, who lived two houses down, run past with too many of his cousins to count. She smiled softly, and then waved to Bill, who was sitting on his front porch watching them. He grinned back at her.

Her hedges definitely needed some help — the rogue sprouts were getting so big they were casting their own shadows.

Some days, she is jealous of Bill and Fleur's perfectly manicured lawn, but then she remembers that Fleur is a put together human being and she is a hot mess, and the jealousy goes away.

She heads out to the shed to find her clippers. She isn't expecting what she finds instead.

A woman is standing in the middle of her shed, holding an axe, inspecting the blade with a curious look on her face.

Before Parvati can think her words through, she says, "Oh my god. Why do you have an axe?"

Which, really is only one of the many questions in her mind right now.

The woman turns to her, and looks at her with weirdly somber, ancient eyes. She looks young, but her eyes look like they've seen centuries.

"I promise," she says calmly. "I am not going to kill you."

Parvati freezes.

She knows those words.

Those words are written on the inside of her left forearm in beautiful, curling calligraphy.

She's spent 30 years wondering if her soulmate was a serial killer. Turns out she's just a shed invader.

"You're my soulmate," Parvati says after a moment. "But you still need to put down the axe. And maybe explain why you've broken into my shed. Were you… trying to steal my axe?"

The woman blinks at her for a moment, and then sets the axe back down on the stand.

She rolls up her left sleeve. There, in Parvati's scrawling script, is written, "Oh my god. Why do you have an axe?"

Parvati winces. "Sorry, those probably weren't the best Words to grow up with."

The woman looks at her intently. "When I Fell, I did not expect to have Words at all. I was aged twelve of your human years when they appeared."

Parvati blinks in confusion. "Erm. What? Fell? _Are you not human?_ "

In the space of a minute, Parvati has gone from thinking her soulmate was a murderer to thinking she may be insane.

The woman cocks her head in a peculiar manner. "I was not. I was of heaven, but they found that I loved humanity too much, for I chose humanity over my brethren and my Holy Mother. And so they cast me out, and told me that if I loved humanity so much I could live among them."

"Are you insane?"

The woman blinks. "No. I am what you call an angel. Fallen. Outcast."

"I don't believe in angels."

"I do not think your belief affects our existence."

Parvati shrugs. That's a fair enough argument.

"It does, however, affect whether I think you're insane."

And at that, the woman turns around so that her back is facing Parvati and begins to strip.

Parvati is about to protest until she realizes the point of the motion. She sucks in an involuntary breath.

Across the woman's back are two vicious scars, starting at her shoulder blades and cutting down her back until they hit the waistband of her black dress pants and disappear.

They look as though someone has forcibly torn a pair of wings off her back.

It is at that moment that Parvati decides it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if this woman is a fallen angel or some crazy cult member. It doesn't matter.

Because it's real to her. It's real to this woman, and that's what matters.

The woman's head is bowed, exposing the ragged scars across her back and making her look broken. It makes Parvati feel uneasy.

"I believe you," she says. "Would you like to come inside? You look like you could use a blanked. Or seven. And some tea."

The woman slides her white button up back over her shoulders and buttons it before turning back to Parvati and doing that odd head tilt again.

"I would like that," she says after a moment.

Parvati smiles. "Great. I'm Parvati."

"Lavender," says the woman.

Parvati's smile grows.

"Nice to meet you, Lavender."

…

Lavender likes the blanket that Parvati gives her so much that Parvati promptly gives her a second one. She burrows between them like she has never seen a blanket before.

It occurs to Parvati that she may not have. Lavender said her words appeared when she was twelve. She never said whether that entailed normal development or just appearing in the world as she is now. She never mentioned a family.

Parvati wraps another blanket around her shoulders and gives her a cup of tea.

Suddenly, something occurs to Parvati. "Er, what were you doing in my shed?"

"I was playing a game of hide and seek with the one they call Louis. I think I have won."

Parvati throws her head back and laughs.

* * *

979 words

Arts and Crafts: Task #2, Crocheting: Write about someone enjoying a warm cardigan, jumper or blanket

Meet cute: "I came to get tools to do some landscaping and you're hiding in my shed after you got inadvertently sucked into a game of Hide and Seek with the local kids"

(Char App: 9.(Setting) Shed) (Harold Lauder: (character) Severus Snape, (word) outcast, (emotion) jealousy) (Showtime 8. Word: steal) (Buttons C5: Louis Weasley) (Lyric Alley: 9. I'm a little bit jealous) (Liza's Loves 28: Springbok - Write about a rugby player) (Jenny's Jovial Quotes "It was one of those perfect summer days - the sun was shining, a gentle breeze was blowing, the birds were singing and the lawnmower was broken." - James Dent) (Library Lovers: Fallen - Lauren Kate: Write about a fallen angel; soulmate!AU; (word) Shadow) (Sneks: Soulmate AU) (Lent Other 4: Write about someone's beliefs or faith.) (Insane House: Word - Halcyon - (Happy, sunny, care-free)) (365.135. It started out like an ordinary day.)


	14. addiction, recovery, knitting

**WARNING FOR VIVID DESCRIPTIONS OF ADDICTION AND DRUG USE, AS WELL AS PASSIVELY SUICIDAL THOUGHTS**

Also. *mounts soapbox* as an addiction biologist, I have to say this. Addiction is not a moral failing. The relapse rate for addiction is NOT any higher than the relapse rate for any other chronic disorder. Addicts need help, not condemnation. *steps off soapbox*

* * *

Lavender never means for it to happen this way.

The thing is, she starts out taking heavy strength pain potions as a way to deal with the fact that a chunk of flesh was torn from her shoulder, and her neck is covered with wounds that magic couldn't heal.

Werewolves are Dark creatures, which means healing magic can't touch their wounds, even, apparently, when they aren't transformed.

So all they can do for her is Muggle methods and pain potions.

She likes the way the potions make her feel. They take the pain away, but they also make her feel loose and floaty, like nothing really matters. Like there's no reason to be stressed.

Only, the pain potions soon don't seem to be doing enough. She can't get the ache in her shoulder (or the one deep in her chest) to go away, so she takes a little more. Then a little more. They aren't doing what they used to.

She starts taking them less because she likes the feeling and more because when she doesn't take them, she feels awful. She learns that without them, she starts to shake. She becomes anxious. Her whole body hurts, not just the shoulder.

The Healer who prescribes her pain potions says she's going through them too fast. She says the pain should be fading by now.

She says she's worried about Lavender. She says that she should see a Mind Healer.

Lavender leaves. She goes to a new Healer, one that will prescribe her potions without the unwelcome advice.

Two months later, that Healer tells her she is taking too many potions. He stops giving them.

She finds someone else. And then another. And then a fourth.

In the end, there are only so many Healers in Britain, and they talk.

She doesn't understand why they won't give her the potions. She is _in pain._ Aren't Healers supposed to stop that?

As her last one wears off, the pain comes back with a vengeance.

And then her limbs start to shake, and her anxiety spikes. She doesn't even know why she's anxious, only that she is. She can't sleep.

She needs the potions. _She needs them_.

She goes to Knockturn Alley. She figures if anywhere will be selling pain potions without word from a Healer, it will be there.

The alley is dark and crowded even though no one is around. The building themselves are crowding her, leaning in over her head. There are spider webs hanging from rooflines and the one streetlamp she can see has no flame burning.

Knockturn Alley looks as broken as she feels.

There is a man, hunched and wrinkled, standing in between two buildings, skulking in the shadows. He looks at her and his eyes gleam. He has very little hair. His teeth are crooked and his skin is gaunt.

"Hello there," he says to her. His voice is raspy.

She wonders what she looks like, that a man like this is talking to her. She doesn't care. She hasn't cared about anything but relief from the pain in a long time.

"Hello," she says warily. "Do you know where I can get pain potions?"

"I can do better than that." He pulls a packet of powder and a vial of liquid out of his pocket.

"This takes the pain away even better than pain potions. You just inject it right into your veins. You get the high of the needle, you get the high of the painkiller."

Lavender isn't sure who she has become that this seems tempting.

But she has learned. She has learned that without painkillers, her life is pain. She won't sleep tonight if she says no. Instead, she knows she will sit in bed and stare at the ceiling and wonder if it wouldn't be better if she were dead.

She can't do that. Not if she has another option.

"What will is cost me?"

The man grins.

And that's how Lavender Brown becomes a heroin addict.

It does the same thing that the pain potions did. It keeps her trembling hands at bay. It eases the muscle deep aches in her body. It makes her worries and her fears drift away.

But the high never seems to last long enough. And she always has to come back to Earth.

So she takes a little more. And then a little more.

Until the day when she wakes up in a puddle of her own piss in an abandoned building with her limbs shaking, gasping for air, terrified of her own shadow.

And she knows that something has to give.

So she checks herself into a Muggle rehab center so that there's no way she'll see anyone she knows, and she detoxes. Cold turkey.

It's terrible. It's every time she's stopped taking the drug, but one hundred times worse because she knows there's no light at the end of this tunnel.

She can't sleep. She can barely eat. Instead, she shakes and she sweats and she stares at the ceiling wishing for death. Based on her heartbeat, she may actually be dying.

In the end, she doesn't die. She feels like she's going to, but she doesn't.

So they let her out of rehab and they wish her luck.

The worst part is that detoxing hasn't made the craving go away. If anything, it's made is worse. Her brain has learned that every time she is worried or a little bit in pain, there is an easy way to fix it.

Three months later she winds up back in rehab. She goes through withdrawals all over again. They don't suck any less the second time. This time, they give her something they call Methadone — they tell her it's a less effective version of the heroin — less addictive, but also enough to cut through her withdrawals a bit, to clear the trembling in her hands and ease the aching in her bones.

They also give her a therapist.

The therapist tells her that her mind has associated locations and things and people with the drug. She says that the easiest way for an addict to break the cycle is to leave these people and places behind.

She tells Lavender to pick up a hobby. Maybe try knitting; it's supposed to be good for the trembling in her hands and the anxiety that sits in her chest.

Lavender leaves rehab. She moves. She buys a pair of knitting needles. She makes it a year before she relapses again.

She changes flats again. She moves out of London entirely. She doesn't say goodbye. As far as her neighbors are concerned, she vanishes.

She takes up smoking. It's still an addiction, she knows, but it eases her trembling hands and quiets the voices in her head without everything else. Without waking up in a heroin den with no idea how she even got there.

The therapist at her third stay in rehab told her she needed a good social influence, so she finds a knitting club that's held at Hogwarts. She's the youngest there by at least three decades, but she doesn't care.

The first week she goes, Molly Weasley hugs her tightly and tells her to come over for dinner afterward. It feels like some sort of coming home.

Molly and Arthur Weasley both come to knitting club every week. Molly talks to everyone, sharing stories about her first grandchild and her many children and everything else she can think of.

Arthur knits quietly beside her. When Lavender asks him why he comes, he smiles fondly at his wife and says, "Molly likes the company."

Lavender wonders if she will ever find that kind of love.

The knitting club seems to have accepted Lavender as their own. When she makes it a year without touching heroin, she quietly tells Arthur, who claps her on the shoulder and says, "I'm so proud of you." Lavender remembers what it felt like when her parents were alive.

Arthur asks if he can share with the group, and Lavender hesitates, and then nods.

The next week, Molly bakes her a cake. Lavender's hands barely tremble as she eats it.

It has been three years since the war ended.

Lavender wonders if she can finally let some of her demons go.

And that's when her routine is disrupted completely. Someone new shows up at knitting club — one of the Patil twins. Lavender never knew them very well; they were in her year, but they were both in Ravenclaw and they kept largely to themselves.

This one introduces herself as Parvati.

Parvati Patil does not want to be in knitting club.

Parvati says that knitting is for old people.

When Lavender asks why she's even there then, Parvati scowls and says her therapist told her that knitting would be good for her PTSD and for the way her hands shake sometimes.

"It definitely is good for both of those," Lavender says with a grin.

Parvati just shrugs. Lavender vows to change her mind.

When Molly asks for someone to help Parvati learn the stitches, Lavender volunteers.

She wonders what it means for her own progress that she's finally in a place to help other people.

As she shows Parvati how to make the first knot and slide it onto her needle, she says, "Tell me something good."

Parvati jerks and stares at her.

"What?"

"It's something my second therapist got me into," Lavender says as she sets up her own stitches. "When you start something new, you think of something good. That way you associate the two, and the new thing makes you think happy thoughts. So tell me something good."

Parvati blinks. "There's not a lot of good in my life lately."

Lavender smiles sympathetically. "I understand those days. Maybe your good thing for today can be that you got up this morning. Some days that feels like a miracle."

Parvati is staring at her. But the thing is, Lavender has never believed in hiding what she's been through. It's not like she really can, anyway — there are giant scars across her neck that don't take glamour charms very well. But beyond the scars, she still doesn't ever want to let the past control her life. So she wears tank tops that expose the hole in her shoulder and she tells Arthur and all the knitting ladies about rehab and therapy and every part of her life that some people try to tell her she should be ashamed of.

But she isn't. She made mistakes, but she isn't ashamed of them. They make her human.

Molly says she's brave for talking about it. Lavender is not sure she ever had another choice.

And on the days she feels like she might shake right out of her bones, she goes outside after knitting class when the sky is dark and the stars are out, and she sits on the ground of Hogwarts, where she's always felt at home, and she counts the stars.

One day, Parvati follows her.

"What are you doing?" she asks, when Lavender lays down in the grass and stares at the sky.

"I'm counting the stars," Lavender says.

"Aren't you too old to be counting stars?"

Lavender turns to look at her.

"You're never too old to marvel at how small you are in face of the universe," she says. "With all of this out there, my problems always feel so small."

Parvati sits down beside her.

"Maybe you could teach me," she says softly.

Lavender grins. "Maybe I will."

Lavender has spent three years falling apart and then putting the pieces slowly back together again. But with Parvati, she feels like maybe she could be even more than just the whole.

They count the stars together, and Lavender wonders if this is what she was missing.

* * *

Assignment 3: Psychology: Task: Write about someone learning a new behaviour/reaction to stimuli because they have learned to associate it with something else.

Meet cute Marathon: My mother said I needed hobbies and i'm not big on sports so I joined this knitting class and you're weirdly passionate about this and I didn't know my type included 60 year old grandmothers stuck in teenager bodies but apparently it does because at this point this class is my favourite part of the week.

(Scavenger hunt: Different House!AU) (Snakes 60: Eastern tiger snake- (word) vanish) (Lib Lovers: Me Before You - Jojo Moyes; (au) Disability; (dialogue) "Tell me something good."; Write about someone with few or no ambitions; Write about trying to change someone's mind) (Insane house: Dialogue - "Aren't you too old to be counting stars?") (Lent: Other 3. Write about someone going cold turkey) (Char App 6. (Relationship) Devoted Husband (with arthur)) (Judge Farris: (action) vanishing, (word) volunteer, (trait) courageous) (Buttons S5: "Brave" by Sara Bareilles) (Lyric Alley 15. When no one's out) (Liza's Loves 18. Warm Old-Fashioned - Write about a grandparent)


	15. assassins targeting the same mark

Parvati is pretty sure that this time she's going to be successful.

She's been stalking Voldemort, the mafia boss she's been trying to topple, for nearly a month now.

But today he's leaving the house to go to his daughter's cake tasting, because Delphi's wedding has to be perfect or she will scream. And the cake tasting, while isolated, has one ideal sightline that she thinks she may be able to get a shot through.

The Order hired her because Voldemort is getting out of hand, and mafia murders have increased exponentially since he took charge. They want him taken down now, before he can gain anymore power. He's got some sort of manipulative Spark — only a small part of the population have a Spark, but people like Voldemort are the reason they tend to hide them when they can. He's been using his Spark to sway people, to convince the police that no laws are being broke and to convince more people to join him.

Personally, Parvati thinks Delphi may not be an improvement, but then, she doesn't get paid to give her opinion. She gets paid to make the shots no one else can make.

She's holed up in the empty apartment across the way, leaning on her rifle, waiting for Voldemort to arrive when she hears a scuffling sound behind her.

She turns around abruptly. A woman is standing there. Tall, voluptuous, brunette.

She has a bag in her hand that looks innocuous. In the same way that Parvati's gun bag looks innocuous.

She waves somewhat awkwardly.

Parvati's Spark snaps out, stretching the apartment until there's space between them enough for Parvati to see a bullet coming. Sometimes manipulating the size of spaces comes in handy.

"Who the hell are you?" Parvati asks, twisting up from the floor and pulling out her handgun, just in case.

The woman throws her hands up, to show that she's unarmed, and then starts rapidly making shapes with her hands.

That's when Parvati notices the hearing aids. She pulls the room back in, leaving them out of arm's length but close enough that she doesn't have to shout.

"Fuck, can you hear me?"

The woman nods, and then slowly reaches into her pocket and pulls out a notebook and pen. Parvati takes a chance, and steps forward to take it.

 _I cannot speak,_ says the first page. _But my hearing aids mean I can hear you._

Parvati nods, then frowns. "What are you doing here?"

The woman's eyes flick to the rifle, and then back to Parvati.

 _The same thing, I suspect, as you are._

Parvati grins. "Fair enough. Who sent you?"

 _The Ministry_. _You?_

"The Order."

The woman rolls her eyes. Parvati scowls. "Hey, like you're one to talk."

The woman grins, and Parvati realizes what she just said. She drops her head in her hands.

"Well, now that I've stuck my foot in my mouth. I'm Parvati," she says, sticking her hand out.

The woman shakes it. _Lavender_.

By the time they turn back to the window, Voldemort has gone.

Parvati eyes Lavender up and down. "I mean… we're both after the same mark. Want to work together?"

Lavender grins.

…

Parvati takes her on her bicycle to the tent near Voldemort's hotel that she's been staying in. Lavender frowns at it sceptically at first, but then when she walks inside, her eyes go wide.

Parvati grins. "Yeah, that's why the Order wanted me. I can expand or shrink spaces. That's my Spark."

Lavender smirks. _Not very useful for an assassin, is it?_

Parvati raises an eyebrow. "You'd be surprised how useful expanding and shrinking boltholes is. But yeah, maybe not the most helpful."

After a moment of hesitate, Lavender hands her a page that says, _I think my pinpoint accuracy is better._

Parvati raises her eyebrows, and Lavender just smirks. Parvati whistles, impressed. "That's damn useful."

They sit in the living area of the tent and Parvati tells Lavender what she knows so far. Lavender writes down anything she has to add.

"Does that ever get annoying?" Parvati asks at one point. Lavender raises a brow at her. "Writing everything down," Parvati clarifies.

Lavender shrugs. _Lost my voice when Fenrir Greyback tried and failed to slit my throat. It's kind of an honor. But yeah, it's also a pain in the ass._

When Parvati finishes reading it, she looks up to see Lavender tipping her head back, throwing the scar on her neck into sharp relief.

"I'm sorry," Parvati says after a pause. Lavender shrugs again. Parvati isn't sure what she's supposed to say to that.

…

On the day that Delphi goes wedding dress shopping, Lavender and Parvati go with her. Sort of.

The plan is to kidnap Delphi and hold her hostage to get at Voldemort. They expect to get their shot as she's leaving the shop.

They walk into the shop and are immediately accosted by a saleswoman. "Oh, so which one of you is the bride?"

At the same time, Lavender points to herself and Parvati says, "Me."

The woman raises her eyebrows. "Erm," Parvati says. "We both are. We're marrying each other."

Which is how they wind up trying on wedding dresses as the superstitious saleswoman refuses to let them see each other.

Neither one of them winds up getting a good sight of Delphi. In the end, maybe that's for the best, because that means she didn't get a good sight of them, either.

Besides, neither of them are trained for kidnapping. They're distance assassins at heart.

…

The Order manages to get Parvati an invite to Delphi's wedding, only because they have someone who managed to call in a favor.

"Don't fuck it up," Nymph tells her. "If you do, we lose a valuable favor for nothing."

Parvati nods solemnly.

"Now, who are you taking as your plus one?"

Parvati tells her. Nymph looks at her with distrust in her eyes.

"Why would you work with someone from the Ministry?"

Parvati can't explain it. But she's been drawn to Lavender from the start, even when she had no reason to trust her.

Nymph eyes her. "Be careful," she finally says. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

Parvati just nods and walks away.

…

In the tent, the night before the wedding, Lavender tries on her dress. It's bright red and floor length and it makes her look like the worst (best) kind of temptress.

Parvati can't help herself.

She kisses her.

When she pulls away, Lavender is staring at her with wide eyes. Just as Parvati is about to apologize, Lavender kisses her.

When they separate, Parvati smiles.

…

They strut into the wedding like they belong there, high heels clicking and a plastic gun tucked into Lavender's thigh holster and pressed into Parvati's leg as they play up the couple act.

They make it through security and Parvati breathes easier.

The wedding goes off without a hitch and Parvati relaxes just a little bit more. They wait for a moment when they have a clear shot and a chance of slipping out before being caught.

Voldemort stands up to give a speech.

Lavender takes the shot.

When they flee, they flee holding hands.

* * *

Meet Cute Marathon: Both characters meet as they both try to (assassinate) the same mark. They quickly realise that teaming up will be more effective.

Assignment 3, Mythology: **Task #9 - Hephaestus, God of the Forge:** Write a disability!AU

(The Godfather - Mario Puzo; (au) Mafia; (plot point) A wedding; (word) Favor) (Char App 8. (Setting) A magical tent) (Nick Andros: (au) deaf-mute, (plot point), (emotion) distrust, (object) bicycle) (Buttons: AU1: Serial Killer!AU) (Lyric Alley 27. There's no space) (Liza's Loves 7. Godfather - Write a mafia AU) (Let's play Cards 32. Cheat - write about deception) (365: 17. AU - Assassin!AU) (Sneks: word voluptuous.) (Scavenger Hunt: write a fluffy fic) (Insane House: Plot Point - Trying on wedding dresses when you're not actually getting married) (Writing month:1204 words) (Lent: Other 9. Write about someone commiting a sinful act.)


	16. Aphrodite Pandemos

Parvati is in the library because she's looking for an article on the ancient Egyptians that she knows she once read, but that she can't find online anywhere.

She's found an ancient history aisle that she doesn't remember ever seeing before. The spines look Greek, but she thinks she can see some hieroglyphs and runes further down.

She runs her hands along the spines as she looks. She loves old books. It's half of why she became a historian.

But when she finds the book with no title on the spine, just a spiral of gold, she finds herself drawn to it. She moves a little closer. Her fingers reach out.

She touches the spiral on the spine and the world tips sideways. Suddenly her entire body is doing flips and she feels like she might throw up. She falls to her knees, which is a bizarre sensation when she's not sure the floor is even real.

The world clears and stabilizes into… an ancient Greek temple? The columns are lined with engraved figures, depicting stories. She recognizes the image of Aphrodite rising fully-formed from the waves.

In front of her is a ten foot tall statue of a goddess in a peplos, a dove perched on her shoulder, a necklace of large jewels around her neck.

A woman in a similar peplos steps forward from behind the statue.

She says something that Parvati is pretty sure is Greek. The world twists, and when the woman repeats the sentence, she understands it, although somehow she knows it's still spoken in Greek.

"Who are you?" says the woman.

"I'm Parvati," she says.

The woman blinks at her.

Parvati looks between the woman and the statue. She's still on her knees, and she's starting to think maybe that's for the best.

She thinks about the world twisting, she thinks about the fact that even if she hasn't time traveled — and she rather suspects she has — at the very least she's traveled places, and some force was behind that.

She thinks about the image of Aphrodite rising from the waves, and the fact that the dove is one of Aphrodite's symbols.

She looks at the woman in front of her — gorgeous, composed, and dressed just like the statue, down to the same necklace.

"Are you Aphrodite?"

The woman blinks.

Parvati looks between her and the statue again. The woman follows her gaze.

"Oh," she says. "Yes. That's... me."

Parvati goes still.

Because if that's Aphrodite, then… is she actually in Ancient Greece? How did that even happen? What do you do when you meet an actual real live goddess?

She bows her head. "A pleasure to meet you, Aphrodite. Why have you called me to this time?"

The woman looks her up and down.

"I saw you, where you were, and I knew that you were the one I needed. You were the beauty who could help me."

Parvati feels her eyes go wide. "Me?"

Aphrodite looks her up and down. "You."

Parvati knows she is blushing.

She's not sure how to explain what is happening. She's a historian, and while she has some faith in a power that's bigger than herself, she's never really been sure what that means for her. And maybe anyone else in her shoes would want more proof, but Parvati knows how many societies have believed in the mystical and the magical. And she knows that she went from completely sober to spiraling through space in seconds. She can't deny the reality of what she had experienced. She cannot deny that she is either in an Ancient Greek temple or the best replica she's ever seen.

And maybe it's just that there's no point in not believing it. If this is a dream, or a coma, or some drug induced hallucination, then what is it going to hurt by treating it as if it's real while it lasts?

So when Aphrodite steps closer, Parvati meets her in the middle. And when Aphrodite draws a hand up and traces the lines of Parvati's face, Parvati smiles and lets her feel the curve of her lips.

And when Aphrodite stares at her lips, Parvati leans forward to kiss her because _when else is she going to get the chance to kiss the goddess of love and beauty_?

Aphrodite kisses her softly, but sweetly.

When she pulls away, Aphrodite's olive cheeks are flushed a gorgeous pink. She looks slightly dazed, which Parvati wonders about for a second before she considers that maybe Aphrodite is more affected by romantic overtures because of her domain.

"How did I get here?" Parvati asks her.

Aphrodite pauses for a moment, and then says, "Who are you to question the will of the gods?"

Parvati shrugs, because that's fair.

"Am I going to be able to go home?"

"That remains to be seen." Her voice is strong, imperious. She sounds like Parvati had imagined a goddess might sound.

Aphrodite whirls around, her peplos flaring dramatically. She moves toward the back of the temple, behind the statue. Parvati follows her without thinking.

However, before she gets to the back, a voice echos from the front of the temple.

"Priestess?" it calls. "Priestess, are you here?"

Aphrodite's skin loses its color, going from a warm olive to a pale, washed out beige.

"Stay here," she murmurs.

Parvati is a history professor; she knows what happens to those who defy the will of the gods. She stays behind the statue, but she listens. It is the voice of a woman.

"Priestess, I wished to speak with Aphrodite. Is she listening today?"

And something clicks for Parvati.

Of course.

Temples had priests and priestess, who conveyed the will of the gods to the people.

Of course.

She stops listening and sinks to the floor to think.

She may be trapped in Ancient Greece. That's an increasingly real possibility. She doesn't know how she got here; she certainly doesn't know how to get home.

But something lets her speak and understand the language.

And Greece has always fascinated her.

So what if she is stuck in Ancient Greece? What if she's here forever? Does it matter?

She's left behind Padma, but to be honest, not much else. She has many acquaintances but not a lot of friends. She has her classes, and her students, and her studies, but honestly the studies were always her favorite part and how better to research history than to live it?

And maybe this is all just a fever dream and it will end soon enough. But maybe it's not.

So when the priestess comes back, Parvati raises an eyebrow at her, and her olive skin blushes bright.

"Aphrodite, huh?"

The priestess ducks her head. "No, just Lavender. But… you were so beautiful. At first, when I saw you, I thought you might be Aphrodite herself, come to see me. But then you thought I was Aphrodite, and I thought if I said no that you might leave."

Parvati shrugs. "Honestly, I'm not sure I know how to leave. But if I'm staying, I could probably use some help."

Lavender grins. "I can do that. If you'd accept the help from me."

Parvati grins back. "I'll forgive you, but the price is another kiss."

Lavender smiles softly. "Oh, but that is no price at all."

* * *

Assignment 4: Religion: **Task #3:** Write about someone pretending to be an angel or a god

Meet Cute Marathon: A is at a library and stumbles across an aisle that they had never noticed before. The shelves are lined with large old books with covers in mostly unrecognisable languages. A is strangely drawn to one book in particular, and when their hand grazes its spine, A is transported to Olympus – and standing before them is B, a literal Greek God(dess).

(Lyric Alley: 29. It doesn't matter what is out there.) (Cards 14. Magic: The Gathering - write about accidental magic) (Lent Other 8. Someone Living Life to the fullest) (Sneks 3. Puff adder - (AU) Time Travel) (Insane House: AU Historical.) (365: 124. Event: First Meet.) (Molly Moon - Georgia Byng; (plot point) Someone is not who they appear to be; (objects) Jewels; (trope) Time travel)


	17. EMT and patient

_Seamus,_

 _How is America? I still can't believe you managed to find one of the few places in america with no internet or cell phone service. I hope you're having a good spring break. I know the odds are that you're going get this right before you need to leave, and you can just talk to me about it, but I really needed to tell you about this._

 _Yesterday, I had a near death experience._

 _I saw my life flash before my eyes, Seamus, I swear to god. It was raining (bet you miss that, right? Rain is, after all, the one thing the British do better than anyone else) and I was crossing at a crosswalk but I guess this car didn't see me or something because suddenly I was on the ground._

 _Fucking concussions, right? (I'm imagining your voice in my head saying ditto, because I know you still think about that damn soccer injury from first year of Primary.) I don't even remember the accident._

 _So anyway, next thing I know I'm sitting on the side of an ambulance, wearing a goddamn shock blanket and my neighbor — you know the one, the super hot Indian girl that I've been trying to work up the nerve to talk to — she's standing right in front of me, wearing an EMT uniform and asking me if I'm okay._

 _Shay. SHAY. I thought she was hot already, but seeing her in uniform? Fuck me. I think a part of me died and went to heaven right there on that pavement._

 _Okay so the concussion maybe made time fade in and out a bit but Seamus, she came to visit me in the hospital, after the memory issues had stabilized and she's a goddess, Seamus, she's a goddess and she feels like home to me._

 _She came by after her shift was over just to check on me and she_ _recognized me_ _, Seamus._

 _We even made friendship bracelets, Seamus. It was… meant to be a craft for the kids, but she brought me a kit. Isn't that adorable?_

 _I think I'm in love._

 _I just needed you to know that._

 _Please come back to me, Seamus. I need someone to gossip with._

 _Have a great time in America._

 _Love you,_

 _Lavender_

* * *

Meet Cutes Marathon: A has just been in an accident. There were cars, there were lights, there were loud crashes and the faint sound of a woman screaming. Now, A is sitting in the back of an ambulance, wrapped in a blanket and a heavy feeling of confusion. B, a paramedic, stops at A's side and asks, "How are you feeling?"

(Insane House: Restriction - Only letters/blog/text based) (365. 154. Item: blanket.) (Scavenger Hunt: write a letter fic) (Lent: No 2. No prose.) (Cards: 27. Beggar My Neighbors - Neighbor!AU) (The Supernaturalist - Eoin Colfer; (plot point) Near-death experiences; (word) Ditto; (occupation) Healer) (Sneks: 69. Wolf snake- (dialogue) "We even made friendship bracelets.") (Buttons S1: "Take Us Home" by Alan Doyle) (Lyric Alley 32. Cause time fades) (Liza's Loves 22. Spring Fever - Write about a spring break) (Jenny's Jovial Quotes: 9. "Rain is one thing the British do better than anybody else." - Marilyn French)


	18. bank robbery

Lavender never meant for it to happen this way.

It's just that, when her mum dies, they try to put her and Indigo into separate homes, and she can't let that happen.

 _She can't_.

She's thirteen and Indigo is ten when she takes him and she runs. She takes her wand, but she leaves almost everything else behind.

Indigo cries. Lavender doesn't.

To get them away from the Parisian government officials trying to put them into foster homes, she moves them both to London, considering the distance worth the expense.

She doesn't mean for them to wind up on the streets. But she's thirteen and no one will hire her and she could only rescue so much money from the house before child services came for them.

And underneath the bridges are taken so they wind up trying to sleep on park benches and getting kicked off at three AM by the police. They wind up cowering in corners, hiding from the London rains.

Nobody will look twice at them, even when she tries to forgo her dignity and beg. She can nick a bit of food from convenience stores but she doesn't like to bring Indy for that, and she doesn't like to leave him alone.

It's not sustainable. Lavender hasn't eaten in four days when she knows something has to give. She's sitting in front of a closed shop, the rain falling on her legs, Indigo's head her lap. She's got a hand buried in his lengthening hair. This isn't what she wanted for him.

She tips her head back against the brick wall and takes in a shaky breath. The tears begin to fall.

…

The next day, she leaves Indy on a park bench with their backpack, and she disappears into the darkest alleys she can find. After a month on the streets, she knows where to look for the gangs, because she's spent so long avoiding them.

She walks into Forty Elephants territory, deep in the factory district, heading straight for the heart.

It's not long before she's got someone on her heels. As she keeps walking without looking back, there's someone else. And then another.

When she stops, she finds herself swiftly surrounded by ten women in denim and combat boots. Every single one of them looks like they could chew her up and spit her out. She looks the one in front of her straight in the eye.

They stare straight back.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Lavender," she says. Her voice feels weak and fragile as it echoes in the alley. She feels so young.

"What are you doing?"

"Can I run for you? Or do anything? I need… My little brother is ten years old and in the last week he's had a few stale bread crusts and I need help. I'm fast, and no one ever looks twice at me."

The woman in front of her is maybe nineteen, heavyset, her brown hair shorn short. Her eyes are brown, made of stone and filled with fire, but there's something familiar in them. She looks Lavender up and down, examining. Her eyes flicker around the circle, seeking the eyes of her fellows.

"Can you lift?"

"What?"

"Shop lift. You any good?"

Lavender blinks. "I've been nicking food when I had to, and I haven't been caught yet."

The appraising gaze softens just a little.

"What's his name?"

"Indigo. Indy. He's everything I have left in this world."

It's at that moment that a girl about Indy's size, wiry, but with the same brown eyes as the woman in front of her, pops up next to the woman and tugs lightly on her sleeve.

"Annie. Nettie says it's my turn to do the dishes but it's noooooot."

Lavender smiles. Annie's eyes soften as she looks at the girl. Annie ruffles her hair. "Why don't you help Nettie with the dishes, that way you're both done earlier."

The girl scowls, but then she runs off. Lavender watches the way Annie's gaze follows her and she feels a wash of empathy.

Annie turns back to her.

"Come back tomorrow and we'll give you a trial run. If that goes well, you can run small stuff for us and we'll make sure you're compensated."

Lavender beams. Annie's eyes flick up and down again, and then she looks at one of the other girls in the circle. "Get her a pack."

The girl runs off, and comes back bearing a plastic grocery bag that's tied off at the top. Annie tosses it at Lavender, who fumbles but manages to catch it before it hits the ground.

Lavender doesn't want to look like she's questioning it, so she takes the bag, says "Thank you," and turns around and strides off.

When she gets back to the park, she opens the bag. It contains a bag of beef jerky, two things of string cheese, and a box of crackers.

Lavender bites her lip and tries not to cry at how much the small kindness means.

…

So it starts small. But Lavender is good. She's small, and unobtrusive. With some of the girls watching Indy, she doesn't feel bad about going on bigger runs, longer jobs. He still remains great inspiration to _not get caught_.

She's not perfect. She gets tagged a few times, but she's 13 and nobody wants to prosecute a 13 year old who looks young and starving.

The ladies in Forty Elephants _adore_ Indy. Not only is he one of the youngest, he's the only male in the whole gang. He loses the malnourished look quickly under their influence.

For the first few months, Indigo only stays with the Forty Elephants while Lavender runs, but after long enough, Annie looks her up and down and says, "I think you've proved yourself."

And suddenly Lavender and her little brother are full on members of an all-female (and Indy) gang that runs a massive shoplifting ring and the occasional large crime, usually in conjunction with Elephant and Castle, their all male counterpart.

Lavender grows, but she stays wiry and puts on muscle. She winds up in juvie once when she's sixteen but when she gets out the ladies treat her like a war hero coming home and give her a new tattoo. Annie looks at her surprise and pats her shoulder fondly. "Family doesn't end with blood, Vandy."

She can't bring herself to regret it. It's now how she envisioned her life going, but she and Indigo have a place to sleep and a steady source of food. She knows how to handle herself with a knife and a gun but she's sixteen now and she's still never killed anyone so… she doesn't have any regrets.

Until she breaks into the bank and pulls a gun on an innocent girl.

…

Parvati doesn't understand why they need to go on a field trip like they're in primary school for _Muggle Studies_ , of all classes. But Professor Burbage says they need to see how Muggle money actually works, so she rounds up her whole sixth year class and takes them to Muggle London to a small bank. She has the seven of them — Parvati, Padma, Justin, Susan, Daphne, Hannah, and Anthony — crowded around her in a circle as she explains pounds and coins and the different Muggle currencies. She gives them each a 10 pound note, and tells them to get in line and exchange it for francs. Susan is in front of her, and they are chatting while the line slowly moves. Padma and Anthony are further forward, holding hands, which makes Parvati smile.

Susan exchanges her note and steps out of the way. Parvati is about to step forward when a loud BANG sounds out. She whirls around to find that the woman behind her has pulled a gun out of her coat and shot at the ceiling. She's got cropped short hair and two wide scars across her face. Her eyes are hard like diamonds.

Despite it all, Parvati can't help the fleeting thought that she is beautiful.

"Everyone on the ground!" the woman yells. Three women in ski masks flood into the bank. Professor Burbage is pushing students down to the ground.

Before Parvati can drop, the woman has grabbed her. Ice cold metal presses into her temple.

With a shiver, Parvati realizes the severity of the situation. She may die here in this Muggle bank, in front of her sister and her classmates. She may die from this Muggle weapon.

The woman holding the gun does not hesitate.

"Everyone down or I will shoot her where she stands."

Parvati lives in a world where their government has just admitted they are at war, and yet the closest she is coming to death is during a _field trip_.

What even is her life?

…

Lavender presses her gun into the woman's temple and her hand doesn't shake but she wonders if this is right.

Normally it isn't the individual that suffers for what they do. Normally it's major corporations, people who have so much money they'll barely miss what the Elephants take. This is a small branch of a major bank and they can take the loss.

But Lavender feels the way the woman trembles in her arms and she thinks about the nightmares that normal people have when confronted with guns. She thinks about this woman laying in her bed at night and trying to sleep but dreaming of bullets and for a moment she hates this.

Then she thinks about Indigo. She thinks about fourteen year old Indigo, learning magic with her borrowed wand because she's never dared to get him one of his own. She thinks about the way Annie softens around the younger ones. She thinks about teaching Indigo to tie his shoes and helping him with his maths because he loves maths and he's smarter than her already.

She thinks about watching her little brother grow up, because that's why she's doing this. She's doing all of this for him.

So maybe she's a little bit harmful to some stranger in a bank. Her brother knows what love is, and that makes it worth it.

She steadies her hand on the trigger and watches as the teller loads money into a bag. The three other Elephants in the room are watching everyone else in the bank, making sure they stay down. She hears a thud as someone else takes a kick from a combat boot.

"Stay down," Daniella mutters to someone.

"Please," says someone. "Please, let her go."

Lavender doesn't move, but the woman in her arms goes still.

"Faster," Lavender barks at the teller. The woman jumps, and shoves bills faster.

Evelyn, who is standing at the door, says, "Incoming," and Lavender snatches the bag and tosses it at Daniella before re-adjusting her grip.

"You're coming with us, as insurance," she says to the woman. She still has not said a word since Lavender grabbed her. Lavender shakes her lightly, and she nods, shaky.

Lavender keeps the gun to her temple as they make their way out of the bank and toward the getaway van.

She looks at the woman, and then the van, trying to figure out the smoothest way to execute this transfer.

The rest of the Elephants climb into the van.

Lavender looks at them, and then tips her head.

Evelyn shrugs.

After a second, Lavender shoves the woman to her knees.

"Stay down," she growls.

And then she hops in the van and they vanish.

Lavender never tells anyone that her safety was on the entire time.

…

Parvati never tells anyone that she sometimes wonders if the scarred woman who held a gun to her head is okay.

* * *

Assignment 4: Care of Magical Creatures: **Task #1:** Write about a strong sense of loyalty

Meetcute Marathon day 19: A has been standing in line at the bank for what feels like a century. S/he has a long list of things to do today, and just needed to pop in real quick to the bank, but the teller is taking forever. Unfortunately for A, just as it's A's turn, there's a startled scream as someone yells, "Everybody down! This is a bank robbery!" A feels someone, B, wrap an arm around his/her waist and points a gun to his/her head. A has become B's , maybe A won't have time for laundry today after all.

(Char App 11. (School subject) Muggle Studies) (Lyric Alley 11. I'm a little bit hurtful) (Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins 5, 6, 7; (word) Fire; (word) District; (plot point) Fighting to survive) (Snek 29. Checkered garter snake - (character) Susan Bones) (Easter 2. Ash Wednesday - Write about symbols. Alt. Write about a character realising their mortality.) (Cards 8. Canasta - write about a family coming together) (Insane House: Item - Coat) (365. 52. Class - Muggle Studies)


	19. spy and hostage

Parvati is curled up on the bed, trying to sleep as best she can with one hand handcuffed to the headboard.

She hates this.

She wishes she were braver, stronger. She wishes she could do something besides sit here, but… well, it's been almost four months. She's tried everything she could think of, with no results.

She's never felt so alone.

…

Lavender has rarely been in this deep. The mission started out keeping an eye on a group of shoplifters that they were having trouble pinning anything on.

She's not sure how it wound up with her three weeks into tracking a few kidnapping cases, but it did.

She's had to lie too many times already.

But then, her life is a web of lies at this point. That's kind of what being a spy is.

She checks into the hotel under the name Bella Stubbs because she's exhausted. She hasn't slept in a bed in over a week.

She walks into the room expecting to collapses into the bed and sleep for a day.

She certainly isn't expecting to find a woman handcuffed to the bed.

"Erm," she manages.

The woman looks at her with a vague scowl. "Well you're new. What is it this time? Are we moving again?"

"Erm."

Lavender swears she usually has more composure than this. But she's somewhat sleep deprived and somewhat struck by the unexpected beauty in front of her and also just very, very confused.

The woman hesitates. "You aren't… who are you?"

Lavender fumbles for her normal smooth nature. "Who are you? This is my room. I just rented it."

On the bed, the woman blinks.

"Well, I've been here for a week. So. Do you know how to pick handcuffs? I could really use a white knight right about now."

The question jarrs Lavender into action.

She moves forward and pulls a lockpick kit out of her bag. "How did you get here?"

The woman grimaces. "They took me on my way home from the supermarket." As Lavender releases the handcuffs, the woman flexes her torn wrists. "Oh. And one of them is in the bathroom right now and I just heard the toilet flush."

Lavender whirls around just as the bathroom door open.

She finds herself staring at a face she never thought she'd see again.

A wicked grin crosses his face. "Well, well, Agent Brown. We meet again. How's your face?"

The scars give a phantom throb. "Fuck off, Greyback."

"I don't think so. It looks like you're trying to take something of mine."

"How many times do I have to tell you that you don't get to own people? I should've known you'd be behind it when shoplifters switched to casual kidnapping."

His grin turns into a smirk. "Oh darling. You can tell me as many times as you want. It doesn't change a thing." His voice slides like oil over her skin. She can feel the ghost of his fingernails digging into her face. The wounds have long since healed, but she never forgets they're there.

She should maybe think it through. But Fenrir Greyback makes her crazy.

She lunges forward, pulling the knife out of her belt. Greyback grins and pulls his own. Lavender dances back and forth, evading his attacks.

He tries to drive her around in a circle but Lavender is all too aware of the woman on the bed. She drives him back.

Then she slips, and there's a sharp sting and her forearm is dripping. She hisses, and Greyback grins.

And then, suddenly, out of nowhere, the Bible from the bedside table comes flying through the air and hits Greyback right between the eyes. He looks dazed, and Lavender flips her knife and knocks him with the handle, grinning in relief as he sinks to the floor.

She turns around. The woman is standing by the bed, looking wobbly but fierce.

"He's a dick." Her voice doesn't wobble.

Lavender smiles. "Lavender. Lavender Brown."

The woman smiles back. "I'm Parvati."

Lavender grins at her. "What do you say we start over, without the handcuffs this time?"

"I think I'd like that."

* * *

Assignment 4: Wizarding Geography: **Task #2:** write about joining forces

689 words

Meet Cute Marathon Day twenty: A checks into a cozy inn while on a cross-country road trip, beyond tired and ready to collapse. When A gets to the assigned room, he or she is in for a surprise! Someone else, B, is already in the room. Uh-oh.

Snek 17. Burrowing cobra - (AU) Spy

Fairytale - Rapunzel - 1, 2, 5; Feeling lonely or isolated; Kidnapped!AU - (bonus 5 points); Word: Heal

Divergent - Veronica Roth - 2, 4, 7; Write about starting new; (plot point) Changing name; (word) result

Buttons S3: "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson

Lyric Alley 21. It was bringin' me down

Liza's Love's 15. Goldeneye - Write a spy AU

Insane House: no using said

365: 36. AU - Spy!AU

Lent: No: using said.

Cards: 31. Spider Solitaire - write about a spinning a web of lies


	20. flowers for Indigo

Parvati loved her garden.

Parvati was _proud of_ her garden.

So when her flowers started going missing, Parvati was furious.

So she started watching more carefully. It was never the same flowers twice. One week it would be a red rose, the next week a yellow tulip, the next a sprig of lavender. Then a daisy, then a violet. It was always overnight, but not always the same day.

When one of her purple pansies goes missing, Parvati decides enough is enough. She moved here to be left alone.

She sleeps in in the morning and stays up through the night, sitting at the window. She checks her watch more and more often as the night goes on.

The hour hand is approaching three when she hears a rustle. She grins gleefully. She has the flower thief now, for sure.

She watches as the thief steps into the light.

It's a woman, young, around Parvati's age. She has long brown hair that falls in waves around her face, and when she tips her head up to face the moon, Parvati can see three long, ragged scars across her chin and down her neck.

Despite them, or maybe even because of them, she is beautiful.

…

Lavender always feels a bit weird kidnapping flowers from someone's garden, but… well. They have plenty. Clearly whoever lives here is an eccentric gardener. And Lavender has very little money, and she has insomnia, so she always winds up visiting when it's the middle of the night and she can't actually buy flowers anywhere.

And she'd rather steal them than show up without them.

She surveys the flowers in the porchlight that is always on. She's been trying to pick a different one each time, to make sure he gets a variety.

Except that before she's plucked one, she hears the snap of the front door. A very angry Indian woman about Lavender's age is staring at her. Her face, in the uneven lighting, looks lit up with rage.

She's kind of beautiful in her fury.

She's still staring at Lavender, not saying anything, and Lavender ducks her head, hiding the scars on her neck.

That doesn't stop the staring.

"What?" she finally asks, insolently. She wants to jut her chin out in defiance, but that would just further expose the white knots of scar tissue.

The woman finally snaps out of her staring. " _How dare you?_ " she yells.

…

She's even more beautiful up close. For a minute, Parvati's anger wavers. But then she asks an impertinent question and Parvati snaps out, "How dare you?"

The woman seems to crumple. "I'm sorry. I just… I didn't want to show up empty handed."

She looks sad and wounded and Parvati… Parvati suddenly wonders if there's more to this than meets the eye.

She wonders if maybe it's less _didn't want to_ and more _would be punished for_.

She knows what that feels like. It's the reason she moved away. It's the reason she came here, cut contact with everyone she knew, and essentially exiled herself. It's the reason she's been alone ever since. Her stance softens. She carefully takes in the woman's face, takes in the scars, long since healed over, and wonders how long it has been.

"I'll make you a deal," she finally says. "You can take a flower for tonight. If I can come with you, and make sure he deserves you."

The woman's head snaps up in surprise. It gives Parvati a clear view of the scar. It looks like _fingernails, what the fuck?_

"I… erm."

"And if I decide he does deserve a woman as beautiful and as sweet as you clearly are, then next time you just let me know and I'll cut a flower for you when you need one."

The woman's face twists. She flinches just a little, and Parvati marks that down in the evidence column. She still sometimes flinches away from the unexpected, and she's been out for a year.

"Are you making fun of me?"

Parvati is shaking her head before the entire question is even out. "No, no."

The woman frowns. "I… okay," she says, clearly reluctant.

Parvati smiles at her, soft and light and as non-threatening as possible. "Thanks. My name is Parvati."

"Lavender," the woman says.

…

Lavender has no idea what is happening anymore. The woman had cut a daffodil for her, and even put it in a small bag with some water to keep it healthy. Then, she had locked her front door, pocketed the key, and fallen into step beside Lavender as they walked down the street.

Lavender thinks Parvati may be under the impression that Lavender has been stealing the flowers for a date. Lavender doesn't know how to tell her that they're going to visit her little brother's grave.

As they walk, Lavender stays silent and Parvati talks. It's… weirdly comfortable. Instead of feeling like she's walking with a stranger, it feels like she's known Parvati forever. Parvati talks about her sister, Padma (which sends up an aching flare behind Lavender's breastbone) and her parents and her new job, which is her first ever job. This last part feels unreal to Lavender, who has been working since before it was even legal for her.

Lavender shoves her left hand deep into her pocket, cradles the daffodil carefully with her right, and lets the words wash over her. It feels like a dream.

She hears Parvati's sharp intake a breath as they turn into the cemetery, but Lavender carefully doesn't look at her and keeps moving until they reach the headstone.

 _Indigo Brown_

 _8 May 1983 – 19 June 1998_

 _Beloved, dearly missed_

Lavender kneels in front of the headstone and carefully places the daffodil at it's foot. She picks up the dead violet stem from the last time and pockets it.

She breathes deeply, trying to steady herself.

He was only 15, and she wasn't ready to lose him. She wasn't ready to be alone. Her mum had disappeared the year before, leaving Lavender alone at 18 with care of her 14 year old little brother. She hadn't wanted it. But she hadn't been able to let him go, either.

But then it turned out that her mum hadn't just left. She'd been killed, and the man who killed her wasn't done.

His name was Fenrir Greyback. Lavender wasn't sure why he was targeting them, but it didn't matter.

He killed Indigo. He slashed up her neck and nearly killed her.

So she pulled out her mum's old hunting knife and stuck him in the gut.

She regrets nothing.

Nothing except for the fact that she didn't do it sooner. She didn't save Indigo.

"Hey, kiddo," she says softly. "I brought you something." She pulls a toy yoyo out of her pocket and sets it next to the daffodil. "Thought you might get bored up there with nothing to do."

She pulls in a shaky breath. She wishes the nightmares would go away so that she could sleep through the night, sometimes, but other times she's glad to be awake long after sane people are sleeping, when she can have some time alone with her brother.

It's then that she remembers she wasn't alone.

She turns, but Parvati is gone. In her place is a note.

 _Indigo can have as many flowers as he likes. So can you. Stop by anytime._

 _-Parvati_

Lavender looks around, but there is no sign of the woman. Without the note, Lavender would wonder if it were all a dream.

As it is, she thinks about the woman who didn't know her but called her beautiful, and Lavender smiles.

Maybe she'll stop by tomorrow, not for flowers, but just because she can.

…

For once, Parvati is glad to have been wrong.

* * *

Assignment 4: Muggle Music: Task #2: "I Feel Pretty" (West Side Story): Write about someone that is self-conscious about her/his looks.

Meet Cute day 18: Sometimes I steal flowers from your garden on my way to the cemetery/graveyard, but today you've caught me and have demanded to come with me to make sure the "girl is pretty enough to warrant flower theft" and I'm trying to figure out how to break it to you that we're on our way to a graveyard.

Suite Scarlett - Maureen Johnson - 4, 5, 8, 9; (word) Eccentric; (relationship) Siblings; (object) Key; (plot point) First job

Snek 26. Egg-eater - (object) watch

Cards 2. Solitaire - write about someone who wants to be alone

Lent: Other 6. Write about someone being exiled or exiling themselves

Buttons: Item 4: toy

Lyric Alley: 12. I'm a little bit angry

Insane House: Item: key

365\. 204. Plant: violet

Sleeping Beauty: 1. Object: A red rose 3. Word: Insomnia 4. Song: Once Upon a Dream

1295 words.


	21. mermaids

Lavender swims into the shipwreck ruins, flips open her clamshell and logs on to the Driftwood app.

She never meant to get so occupied with the dating app. She joined because she was bored, and she likes flirting for fun, with no intent behind it. And she likes screwing with people, and people on Driftwood are so easy to screw with.

Most of her fellow mermaids live in the depths of the ocean, or in seas far away, and she doesn't see them often. She lives in the clear blue waters of the Caribbean sea, shallower and warmer. The others on Driftwood are far enough away that most of them she will never meet.

Her clan is small and lonely.

She flicks her tail as she looks through Driftwood.

Not much has changed since the last time she looked. She scrolls through the pictures and profiles somewhat aimlessly.

She finds a new one, a beautiful brown haired mermaid who lives in the Mediterranean. Her tail scales shimmer a gorgeous dark red.

Lavender opens up the messenger feature.

She ponders her opening message. Today she is feeling like being a bit of a shit, so she carefully types out, "Are you a fisherman? Because it looks like you should be reeling in the ladies."

She smirks as she sends the message bubbling through the tides.

She flicks her tail again, letting her light purple fin brush lightly against the rotting wood of the old shipwreck. It's the kind of haunting abandoned beautiful where it's obvious that it was once grand, and is now forgotten. The floor of the ship is littered with bits and bobs, a spoon, a bobby pin, a shoe, a snowglobe. She loves this place, because no one else ever comes here.

Lavender is well known and well loved in her family and her small clan, but some days she just… doesn't quite feel like she fits.

She wasn't born here. She was born in the middle of the Mediterranean sea, just off the coast of Cyprus. But her parents came to visit her grandmother in the Caribbean and they left Lavender with her grandmother as they supposedly went on a short jog through the Panama Canal to the other side.

They never came back.

Lavender was left alone with the grandmother she'd only just met. She was ten years old.

She's never been very lucky.

So while she loves the bright blue Caribbean waters, it's never felt like home to her.

Her clamshell dings. She pops it open to find a message from the blonde with the blood red tail. Parvati, her profile says. '

 _Actually, yes. I am a Fisherman. How did you see through my excellent disguise?_

Lavender grins.

 _It was too good,_ she throws back. _You were clearly too beautiful to be real._

The reply comes rapid-fire. _Ah, that is because in truth I am a sixty year old grey haired man._

 _You're quite tech savvy for a sixty year old._

 _Ah, no, my grandchild is typing this for me. I'm just the witty one in charge of the words._

 _Okay. So if you're a human fisherman, explain something. You humans, you call it surfing the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom. What's that all about? If anyone is surfing it's us._

In reply, she gets a smiley face, the crying while laughing emoji.

After a moment, her shell pings with a follow-up message. _Okay, you win. That's the first time someone on this stupid site has made me laugh out loud._

Lavender smiles. She thinks this may be the beginning of something beautiful.

…

Over the next few months, she keeps messaging Parvati. Parvati makes her smile, makes her laugh, makes her feel alive in a way that she hasn't in about a decade.

Her grandmother notices the change, but not in the way Lavender hoped.

"You're always on that damn clamshell lately. Why don't you go outside, swim some tides, make some friends?"

Lavender rolls her eyes. "I have friends, Gran."

"Real ones?"

Lavender scowls. "Just because they're on the waternet doesn't mean they aren't real, Gran."

Her grandmother frowns. "You don't really know who that girl is, Lavender."

And Lavender doesn't know how to explain that she _does_. She knows Parvati, just as Parvati knows her better than anyone else, because sometimes it's so much easier to bare her soul when she doesn't have to look Parvati in the eye. She's told Parvati everything. She suspects Parvati has done the same.

After all, she knows all about Parvati's twin Padma. About how Padma gets better grades and her parents fawn over Padma and Parvati loves her sister but sometimes she just wants to strangle her a little bit.

She knows all about how Parvati found out she was into mermaids and not mermen, about her first kiss at age 8, her first boyfriend at 14, her first girlfriend at 16.

She knows how Parvati was bullied for her dark skin, for not matching the rest of the Mediterranean mermaids, for her romantic interests. Lavender had spent a full day after that conversation raging around the shipwreck, tossing things around and just generally wishing for an asshole to punch.

They'd long since exchanged real numbers, sending each other pictures and encouragements.

Parvati had closed her Driftwood account. Lavender left hers open only to screw with people.

"I do know her, Gran. I know her better than I know you."

Her grandmother looks as though she's been slapped. "How dare you?"

"What? It's the truth!"

"Lavender Brown, how dare you disrespect me?"

"Oh, because you respect me _so much_. When's the last time you even asked me what I wanted, Gran? About _anything_. I don't even know the last time you asked what I wanted _for dinner_."

With a sniff, her grandmother says, "As if you care."

"I _do_! Thanks for fucking asking."

"Don't use that word in my house." Her grandmother's face is turning increasingly purple.

"I'll fucking say what I fucking please."

"Get out! Get out!" She's flapping her hands as though to shoo Lavender away. Lavender half wants to laugh and half wants to cry.

"Gladly." Lavender swims up to her room, rounds up a few things, and takes off.

She's not sure how long her grandmother means for her to leave. Lavender doesn't care.

The Caribbean has never been home.

She knows where home is. It's the warm Mediterranean near Cyprus, where her parents met and fell in love. It's where her childhood was. It's where Parvati is.

Lavender is going home.

…

The Atlantic Ocean is rather larger than it felt when she was ten and never alone.

Now, she is always alone.

She clutches her clamshell tightly and keeps Parvati chatting. She doesn't tell Parvati that she's on her way.

Maybe that's stupid. Maybe all of this is naive. Maybe her grandmother was right — maybe Parvati is a lie, a fiction carefully constructed. Maybe she's crossing the ocean hopelessly chasing a phantom, a dream.

Or maybe it's not.

…

She is exhausted and ragged by the time she crosses from deep ocean water to shallower Mediterranean sand. By the time she sees the lights of the city she once calls home, she just wants to sleep for a week. Instead, she takes a deep lungful of salt water.

She made it.

It only took two months and three wrong turns.

She takes another deep breath.

She swims toward home.

The streets feel so familiar and so foreign, all at once. She sees the School of Fish, where she learned to read. Next to it is the seaweed field where they used to play tag.

She swims past her old house. A weird ache goes through her at the sight — it's been colored over, and is now a bright blue where it used to be a pale pink.

Home has changed.

But that doesn't matter when she knocks on the door of Parvati's house and sees a smile spread across her face as she realizes.

"Lavender? But… how?"

Lavender beams. "It was time to come home."

And Parvati smiles so wide that Lavender has to kiss her.

She tastes like home.

* * *

 **Task #4: "No Place Like London" (Sweeney Todd):** Write about someone returning home.

Meet Cute Marathon 21: I joined this stupid dating website to troll people and then I met you, who also joined this site to troll people. The more we talk about how stupid some of these people are the more I'm starting to like you

(Lyric Alley 22. I've never been that lucky) (Liza's Loves 19. The Flirt - Write about a flirt) (JJQ 21: "They call it 'surfing' the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom." - Jack Dee) (Snek 68. Water moccasin- (object) spoon) (365. 30. AU - Online Dating!AU) (Insane House: Item: snowglobe.) (Cards 9. Hearts - write a meet cute) (Fairytale: Little Mermaid: AU: Mermaid; Word: Scales; Word: Shipwreck - (bonus 5 points); Restriction: Set entire story underwater) (Lent: No 10. No human characters) (Scavenger Hunt: In or on water)


	22. princess and postwoman

Parvati sighs as she sorts through her deliveries for today.

Some days, she really hates this job.

But the truth is, she needs the money.

She wanted to go to college. She finished secondary school dreaming for more.

But she didn't have the money to pay for further education. And she wasn't good enough to get scholarships.

So she turned to working for the post office. She hauls packages. She does the fancy neighborhood — huge, sprawling mansions, which she thought would be fun at first, but all it really means is that she has a lot further to go in between houses.

It also means most of the people she delivers to are pompous old men rich off daddy's inheritance, and if she ever needs to get a signature from anyone, they treat her like the dirt beneath their shoes and she legitimately can't even tell if it's because she's brown or because she's a humble blue collar worker or because she's a woman.

She _really_ hates this job.

She stacks the packages in her truck in order, hesitating when she gets to a stack of like fourteen packages for the same address. They're for the literal _castle_ that's on her route — she's pretty sure it's the home of Princess Lavender, but the princess is known for being a recluse ever since her parents died, and the royals haven't been anything more than figureheads in the last few centuries anyway.

The boxes is marked for a signature, which she's never had for a castle delivery before. She's not sure if anyone besides the princess actually lives there.

As she's inspecting the labels, she notices the return address — _the Thrillhammer_. Below that, each box bears the slogan — " _We personalize pleasure."_

Parvati can't help but snicker.

Seems like sometimes even royalty can't get a date.

…

She pushes the buzzer on the castle gate. It takes a long moment, but eventually a female voice comes through the speaker.

" _Hello?_ "

"Packages," Parvati says.

After a moment, the gate buzzes a solid, high noise and then opens wide. Parvati carefully maneuvers her delivery truck up the long, winding driveway, through the trees. The sun is going down, because she left this delivery for last, knowing that it would take a while. She parks near the front door, turning off the truck and pocketing the keys before moving around to the back of the truck and sorting through the packages.

She pulls out the first Thrillhammer package. She snickers as she heaves it up — each box on it's own is incredibly heavy, and she's not stupid enough to try lifting multiple. That's how she winds up throwing out her back and losing her job and winding up living under a bridge.

She rings the bell, and moments later a gorgeous brunette answers the door. She's dwarfed in the massive door, wearing surprisingly casual clothes — jeans and a pale purple sweater of clearly high quality. She's barefoot, which seems oddly out of place and kind of charmingly disarming.

It's why the words, "Thrillhammer, _really_?" fall out of Parvati's mouth.

The princess blushes bright red. Before she can help herself, Parvati is chuckling.

"Look, where do you want this? It's kind of heavy, so…" The princess jumps slightly.

"Oh! I… oh. I don't… would you mind bringing it in and to the room? It's just… I don't have a lot of help."

Parvati shrugs as best she can with a box in her arms. "Sure. Lead the way." Which… well, normally she wouldn't say yes to that, because it's sketchy as hell and seems like the start of a horror movie where the delivery girl definitely dies first. But Princess Lavender is surprisingly young, and she has _bare feet_ for christ's sake. And Parvati can't deny she wants to see the castle.

She steps inside.

"Oh, would you mind removing your boots? It's just that… well, my cleaner is on vacation in Cuba visiting her family for the next month, and I didn't really want to hire someone. I thought I could do it myself… but the castle is rather bigger than I thought."

Parvati wonders what it's like to have a _cleaner_. There was a point in her life when she couldn't even afford a _broom_.

She sets the box down and pulls over her combat boots, leaving them by the door. She takes a second to look around the ornate entrance hall. The walls are wide dark stone, but they're covered in tapestries that warm up the space, coloring it in red and gold. With a thick exhale, Parvati heaves the box back up, balancing it carefully on her hip.

Lavender pads on quiet feet down a long hallway and around a corner. The room she stops in is smaller than most, cozy. There's a large bed taking up most of the space, with a draping canopy over it. In one corner there is a large dark wardrobe with drawers. Other than that, and the dark red tapestries covering the walls, it is fairly empty.

She gestures to a corner. "You can just set it over there."

Parvati looks at the space. "I'm… going to need to stack these. There are fourteen boxes."

"Fourteen?" Lavender looks slightly surprised. Parvati grins.

"Guess you needed a lot of help, huh?" She winks. Lavender's blush, which had only just faded, comes back in full force.

Parvati really can't help herself. The princess is the kind of gorgeous, unattainable woman who is exactly her type. And _so easy to fuck with_.

She continues the stream of innuendos as she hauls box after box into the bedroom. It helps that she can tell Lavender's gaze is lingering on the way the muscles in her arm strain as she lifts each box. Once, as she bends over to set down a box, she catches Lavender's gaze lingering on her ass.

It's a pretty good feeling.

Finally, as she sets down the last box, wiping a small amount sweat from her forehead.

"Okay, what exactly is a thrillharmer? After that much hauling, I think I've earned the right to know."

Parvati suspects Lavender may just be permanently red by now.

"Um," she says. Parvati grins.

"Oh, come on. I just hauled fourteen fifty pound boxes into your bedroom. You can tell me anything."

"Um," Lavender says again. "It's not very… erm. Princessy."

Parvati grins again. "I figured as much. But come on. I've sworn the sacred delivery girl oath of secrecy."

Lavender laughs. It sounds like bells. Parvati always thought that was an exaggeration, but no. Lavender's laugh _actually sounds like bells_. It's somewhat terrifying. And adorable. Parvati may be in over her head already.

"It's… erm. A teledildonic machine."

That's a fancy ass way of saying Princess Lavender bought a fucking machine off the internet.

Parvati can't help herself. She laughs so hard she nearly falls over.

When she finally sobers, Lavender is staring at her with a faint smile and a red face.

"If you need help, Princess, all you have to do is ask," Parvati says with a wink. She doesn't expect it to go anywhere — she's obviously far outclassed here.

But Lavender looks at her with intrigue.

"Are you offering to help me assemble, or are you offering to make the machine unnecessary?"

Parvati is surprised by the forwardness, but it takes her only a moment to recover. "Whatever you need," she purrs in a voice that took her ages to perfect.

"How about some assembly and then a companion for dinner? And maybe later we can talk about… further help."

How is this Parvati's life?

She sends up a thank you to every God she can currently remember the name of that she saved this delivery for last.

"I can make that happen," she says.

And so she does.

…

Maybe assembling a fucking machine is a weird first date. Maybe it's a weird date, period.

Parvati finds she doesn't care. Lavender is funny and sweet and surprisingly genuine. It's easy to make her blush, but then as soon as they make it to the bedroom she's confident in every movement, sure of every word. It's a gorgeous transformation.

Parvati finds herself falling in love even while she's sure it can't last. Lavender is a _princess_ , and she may be a figurehead but even if she weren't royalty, she'd still be way out of Parvati's league.

She's waiting for Lavender to leave her, but they've made it six months and Parvati is more in love than she's ever been when they go out to dinner at a fancy but discrete restaurant and Lavender slides a ring box across the table.

Parvati goes still.

"Open it," Lavender says.

Parvati isn't sure she wants to. But she does.

The ring is beautiful, gold with an inset of three diamonds — a large center one and two smaller ones on the side.

It looks like it's worth more than Parvati makes in a year.

"Parvati," Lavender says. Parvati is already shaking her head. "Parvati, I love you, more than I thought possible. And I want to be with you. Forever. Will you marry me?"

Parvati covers her mouth, and then closes her eyes and pulls in a deep breath. Then she opens them again.

"No," she says. "Lavender, I love you, but no."

She watches something in Lavender's face die. Parvati wants to cry. She wants to flee. She wants to take the words back, but she _can't_.

"You're… god, Lavender. You're so special. You're so amazing. And I love you, but I don't think you've thought this through. You're still royalty. And I'm still _a post office worker_. I live paycheck to paycheck. Most weeks I eat ramen for at least three meals. I once skipped out on going to the doctor for the flu because I couldn't pay the _ten dollar deductible_. We're from different worlds. And while spending time with you is amazing… I'm never going to feel like your equal like this, Lav."

It's something she thinks about a lot. It's something she thinks about every time Lavender pays for dinner, or takes her out to fancy places. Lavender says she doesn't care, and maybe she doesn't. But Parvati does.

Lavender looks at her with pain clear in her eyes. "Money has never been what makes the worth of a woman, Parvati. Don't you know? I don't care that you don't make much money, because you're worth so much more. You're clever and so, so quick with your words, and when you speak I want to listen for hours. You're so strong, and persistent, and I _know_ you hate your job but you stick with it anyway and give it your all."

Parvati shakes her head. Lavender is crying now. Parvati wants to cry too.

"I'm sorry."

"Can… I mean. Can we still date, though?"

Parvati hesitates. Lavender reaches a hand across the table and grabs Parvati's hand. "I can't lose you because I tried to move to fast, Parvati. _Please_."

And how is Parvati supposed to say no to that?

...

Things are weird after that.

Lavender is hyper attentive to her every whim in a way that makes Parvati uncomfortable. Three weeks of this, and then she turns weirdly distant. She still asks Parvati for dates, but they spend them mostly in silence.

After three weeks of that, Parvati is about at the end of her rope.

"What the hell, Lavender?"

Lavender looks up at her sharp tone. She's laying on the couch in her living room, staring at the ceiling. Parvati is sitting in a chair across from her, staring at Lavender.

"What?"

"What the hell? What do you _want from me_?"

Lavender swings her legs off the couch and sits up. She braces her elbows on her knees, leaning forward.

"What do I want from you? What do I _want from you_?" Her eyes flash. "I want you to acknowledge your own worth. I want you to accept that _I don't care about the class differences_. I want you to believe that I _love you_ , with every single fucking thing that that entails. I want you to know that it doesn't fucking matter to me what's out there. What matters to me is right here, in this room. I want you to listen to me when I say I have been alone for so long, and you make me feel so loved, loved for who I am and not what I am, in a way that no one else ever has. I want you to look me in the eye and tell me you said no to my proposal because you _don't want to marry me_ , because that's the only reason good enough."

Parvati stares at her in shock.

"This is still about me refusing your proposal? What, has no one ever said no to you before?"

"It's not about you saying no!" Lavender yells, standing up and starting to pace. "It's about you saying no for _stupid reasons_. It's about you loving me and me loving you and you _refusing to accept that_."

And… well. When she puts it that way.

"Maybe I'm scared," Parvati says quietly.

Lavender's anger seems to drain. "What?"

"Maybe I'm scared," Parvati says again. "Maybe I'm scared of what it means to be yours. I don't know how to deal with the public attention when this comes out. I don't know how to deal with… Lav, I don't know who I am anymore if I'm not the kind of person who has to work for everything she has."

Lavender breathes in shakily. "We'll elope to Vegas, okay? No one needs to know now, not if you don't want them to. And when they find out, they find out. We can bear it, because we'll be together. And Par… I would never ask you to stop working. I would rather help you find a job you _love_. I would support you as you found that. And then, when you do, maybe you'll feel like we're on a more even level. And if you need to eventually pay me back for helping you get to where you deserve to be, then you can pay me back. Or you can consider it a gift. _I don't care_. I just want you by my side."

And… maybe Parvati's just being stubborn. Because she loves Lavender. And Lavender loves her. And maybe everything else will just work itself.

Besides, Lavender's very persuasive. Persuasive enough to win her over.

"Okay," she says softly. "Okay. I'll marry you, because I love you. But I'm taking you up on that Vegas offer."

Lavender smiles like the sun coming out. "Deal."

...

 **Assignment 4. Potions: Task #1:** Write about trying to win someone over

Meet Cute 22: You are embarrassed, because the packaging isn't anywhere as discreet as the website promised. (Delivery/Postman!AU)

(Disney T3: Rags to Riches - Write a rags to riches!AU) (Lyric Alley 31. It doesn't matter what is out there) (Liza's Loves 21. Royal Arrival - Write a royal!AU) (Snek 18. King cobra - (word) humble) (365: Royalty!AU) (Insane House: Job: Postman) (Cards 33. Five Crowns - Royalty!AU) (Fairytale: Puss In Boots: 2. Object: Boots, 3. Trope: Rags to Riches, 5. Word: Inheritance)


	23. zombie apocalypse (for real)

_This is how I die_ , Parvati thinks. _This is how I die._

She's not terribly surprised. She's been living on the streets since zombies infiltrated her last safehouse. Her food is running low, and she's getting weaker.

It's been three months since the virus swept through Britain, taking her entire family with it and leaving Parvati alone.

But even through all that, she never expected this.

She thought Padma was dead and gone, forever. She didn't know that it didn't matter that Padma never actually got sick — the virus was still there, inside of her. It brought her back to life — if this could be considered living.

And now Parvati is alone, backed into a corner by the shambling corpse that was once her sister, the shambling corpse she cannot bear to kill.

She holds the knife out in front of her but she cannot move it. Her hand trembles.

Suddenly, there is a gunshot, and then another, and then a third. Padma's corpse falls.

Parvati looks around. At one end of the street, there's a brunette woman and a very short blonde man, both pointing their guns in her direction. She sheathes her knife and puts her hands up. She tries not to look at the rotting corpse of her sister.

They move toward her, slow and steady, neither dropping their gun. When they are a reasonable shouting distance, they stop.

"Is there any chance you're infected?" the woman calls.

Parvati pauses, for a second, thinking back. "Shouldn't be," she says.

They move a few steps closer.

"What's your name?" says the brunette.

"Parvati," she says. "You?"

"I'm Lavender," the woman says. "This is Seamus."

"You got a place?" Seamus asks, his accent thick south Ireland. Parvati shakes her head.

Seamus and Lavender exchange a look full of meaning, clearly having a discussion with their eyebrows.

After a minute, Lavender seems to win out. She smiles at Parvati. "Come with us."

Parvati eyes her with a small amount of scepticism.

Seamus shrugs. "Look," he says. "It's an offer — for something more than this. You can take it or leave it."

Parvati looks down at what's left of her sister, and then looks back up at the pair.

"Okay," she says.

…

They take her to a safehouse that's a bit of a step up from where she's been living, bouncing from place to place, just barely staying alive.

They have actually food. They have _apples_. Parvati has been wondering if fresh food even still existed.

"We have to quarantine you," Lavender says to her. "It sucks, I know, but thankfully the incubation period for the virus is only forty-eight hours, so you'll know soon enough. And the quarantine room has food and books. You'll be just fine."

She smiles, and it turns her face from something stern and serious to something that's pure beauty.

"I'll come by and talk to you, too. Maybe we can play checkers."

And that's when Parvati understands, maybe not all of it, but at least some of what that eyebrow conversation was about.

That was Lavender going to bat for her. Taking responsibility. _Trusting her_.

She's never really had a friend like that before.

"Thank you," Parvati says softly.

In response, Lavender simply beams.

* * *

Meetcute: Apocalypse AU: A and B end up in the same shelter.

Lyric Alley: 3. Some can take it or leave it

Liza's Loves 11. Apocalypse Now - Write an Apocalypse AU - (5 bonus points)

Snek 5. Green anaconda - (object) apple

Cards 16. Yugioh - write about fighting off a monster

Lent Other 5. Write about someone coming back from the dead.

Aladdin - 1. Song: Never Had a Friend Like Me; 4. Word: Street; 5. AU: Homeless - (bonus 5 points)


	24. arranged marriage

Parvati is done being everybody's princess long before her mother, also known as Her Majesty the Queen of the Southern Kingdom, walks into her room without knocking and says, "Parvati, we have found you a wife."

"Excuse me?"

Her mother looks at her sternly. "I know you heard me, Parvati. It does not behoove you to pretend not to. She's the princess of the North; you know we need to strengthen our alliance with them. Bring honour to our family."

Parvati wants to rage. She wants to tell her mother that she doesn't _want_ to marry some stranger. She wants to say that it isn't fair that Padma was born first and so this duty falls to her.

Then again, Padma wouldn't want to marry a woman anyway. At least her mother is considerate enough to take that into account.

It's not enough.

But she doesn't say any of that. Instead, she says, "Yes, mother."

Her mother nods and leaves the room.

Parvati flops down on her bed and stares at the canopy above it.

…

She spends two days moping, and then she decides that it's time to act. She packs up her belongings, including enough gold to hold her over for a while. She pulls on her least obtrusive traveling cloak and slings her bag over her shoulder.

She writes a note for her sister, and then creeps down into the hatchery, deftly avoiding the Dragonmaster, Newt Scamander. He's ancient, but he still has sharp eyes and is fiercely protective of his dragons.

She knows a way out of the South and into the Capital, but she also knows that the man who can help her will only do it at a price. The South is the only kingdom left with any dragons, and the hatchery is where they keep the remaining eggs — there are about 100 of them left, and she knows it will take them at least a day or two to notice the one she has taken.

She takes the smallest egg and tucks it into her bag. She pulls up the hood of her cloak and disappears into the night.

She knocks on a door in the town below the castle. It takes a moment, during which she bounces from one foot to the other. After a moment, a bleary, sleep deprived blonde answers the door. He's wearing a pair of sleep pants that hang low at his hips and nothing else.

"Parvati? What the hell?"

"What, were you sleeping?"

"It's four in the morning!" he says. "Of course I was sleeping!"

"Let me in, would you? I don't want anyone to know I'm here."

He takes in her cloaked, hooded figure, and then he lets her in.

"Thanks, Draco," she says, dropping her hood.

"Are you going to explain why you're here, Princess?"

She loves Draco in part because every time he says her title, it drips with sarcasm. He's never given any deference to who she was. His family was once in charge of the East, before a man named Voldemort tried the unite the Four Kingdoms. Draco's family fought for Voldemort, but the West, led by Harry Potter and aided by both the South and the North, dethroned Voldemort. Voldemort was killed in the uprising, and Draco's mother and father were both imprisoned.

Draco fled the East in disgrace and took refuge in the South, where they gave him pardon because of his youth, provided he wasn't disruptive. The East is now ruled by the Greengrasses.

"You can get me out of here, right? Take me to the Capitol?

He looks her up and down, appraising.

"I could, yes. Are you going to make it worth my while?"

She rolls her eyes. "Of course. I'm not an idiot."

It's at that moment that a stocky redhead ambles out of the bedroom, wrapping his arms around Draco's midsection and pressing a kiss to his shoulder-blade.

"It's the middle of the night, love," he mumbles.

"Hey, Charlie," Parvati says. "Sorry about the time. I just need to borrow your boyfriend for a while."

Charlie blinks at her. "At four in the morning?"

"You know I wouldn't ask if it weren't important." Charlie tips his head to the side and hums a little into Draco's shoulder, conceding the point. Draco rests a hand on Charlie's where they are wrapped around his middle.

Parvati smiles to see the two of them. This, this is what she wants out of life. She wants to be able to find love, even in the most unexpected of places. Charlie was never anything Draco was looking for, and yet was somehow exactly what he needed. She remembers Draco when he first came to the South, angry and sullen and hurt, lashing out at everyone around him. She looks at the man in front of her, ambitious and calculating, but also softer, more considerate of the damage his words can do. At least, when not everyone is around.

"Go back to bed," Draco tells him, his voice oddly soft in a way that it only really gets when he talks to Charlie.

Charlie hums again. "Wake me up if you're going to leave." And then he wanders back into the bedroom.

Draco guides Parvati to the dining room table and tells her to take a seat. He sits down in the wooden chair across from her, folding his hands and resting them on the oak table.

"Now, tell me exactly what you need."

"I need you to get me to the Capitol. I need you to get me there unseen and unnoticed. And I need no one to ever know that we talked. Charlie's fine, obviously, but I need him sworn to silence as well."

"Are you going to tell me why?"

Parvati looks at his grey eyes. She wonders if she should.

But she's known Draco since he was 17 and scared. He works to his own advantage, yes, but he's also unflinchingly loyal when he cares about something, and she knows he cares about her, much as he never wanted to. They understand each other.

"They've arranged a marriage for me. A Northern princess. I _can't_ , Draco."

He inspects her face without speaking for a moment. Then, "You would give this up? All of it?"

She knows that he, of all people, knows exactly how much she has to lose.

"I would," she says. "I know it may seem unfathomable to you, who had no say in the matter, but Draco… I would choose love."

Draco glances at the now closed bedroom door. "I understand," he says.

"Will you help me?"

He looks thoughtful. "It'll be tricky. I may have to call in a few favors to disguise you." He looks her up and down. "With the right armour, we may be able to make a man out of you."

She breathes out in relief. If Draco said no, she didn't have a lot of options left. "Thank you."

"What have you got for me?"

She reaches into her bag and lays the egg in the middle of the table. She watches Draco's eyes go wide.

"Are you serious?"

"If you get me out undetected, it's yours."

"Deal."

He pulls the egg toward him, cradling it. "It's a Ridgeback egg, too. These are Charlie's favorite."

He stands and moves over to the fireplace in the corner of the house, which is burning low through the night because it's winter. Draco kneels and places the egg in the coals.

"What on Earth?"

He glances back at Parvati. "Don't worry. Fire cannot kill a dragon."

He returns to his seat at the table. "I will help you. But I'll need tomorrow to acquire the armour, so for now, it's best if you just stay here. The guest room is free."

She nods. "Thank you again, Draco."

He looks at the egg in the fireplace. "No. Thank you."

…

Parvati waits with Charlie in the morning as Draco fetches supplies and armour. Charlie cannot stop staring at the egg in the fireplace.

She smiles to see the man so entranced.

"Draco told you that you can't tell anyone I was here?" she finally asks. Charlie tears his eyes away to look at her.

"He did."

"Not even your family."

Charlie nods. "I don't understand why the need for secrecy, but I trust both of you."

Some small amount of tension in her frame drains. "Thank you."

"Any time, Princess." When Charlie says it, it doesn't have the sarcasm that Draco's voice holds, but neither does it have the deference that most do. Charlie doesn't much care about royalty. He grew up poor and happy in the farming territories of the South, moving into the city to work for the palace hatchery when he was 18. He says her title like it's her name — because that's all it is to him.

She loves the loyalty of her people. She loves being their princess. But her true friends are these men, who do not care about her title — who care only about her.

So when Draco comes back, she dons the armour, bids Charlie farewell, and rides out of the only city that's ever been home. She tells herself that it is not forever. If — when — she finds love, she will return, and her mother will be furious but she will welcome her lost daughter home.

Parvati hopes.

…

They make it to the Capitol with surprisingly little difficulty over the next week. It's a long ride, but the horses Draco has acquired are steady ones. She rents a small home and says her farewell to Draco.

"Thank you again."

Draco shakes his head. "You don't need to thank me. Just… stay safe, yeah?"

"Aww, Draco, are you admitting you care?"

"Never," he says flatly. Parvati grins, and then kisses his cheek.

"I'm going to miss you, too."

Draco scowls. But then he grips her shoulder tightly, and then releases it before turning to leave. From Draco, that counts as a fond farewell.

…

Life in the Capitol is… interesting. Parvati has never felt so anonymous. She's never felt so free. She's never felt so alone.

She's used to everyone knowing her name. But in the Capitol, they don't care about a southern princess. They have their own royalty, and besides that, they're rather isolationist. The Capitol is at the center of the Four Kingdoms, and it used to be where a central ruler sat, centuries ago. But then the Kingdoms rose up together, and the Capitol was too small to fight them.

The Capitol is where people from the Four Kingdoms go to disappear.

Here, Parvati doesn't have to be a princess. Instead, she can be a commoner, from the southern farms, one of seven kids trying to make a life for herself. And Pandora from the Southern Kingdom doesn't raise any eyebrows when she wants to sit down in a bar and have a drink. Or ask a pretty lady for her number.

So when a gorgeous brunette walks into her favorite bar two months after Parvati moves to the Capitol, Parvati buys her a drink. And then another.

And after a few more rounds, everything goes a little fuzzy.

Parvati wakes up in her own bed, alone, with an address scrawled on her arm in smudged ink and no memory of the last night. All she's got is a flickering image of a gorgeous brunette and the accompanying sense of heat pooling in her gut.

She's not the kind of person who can let that go.

So Parvati gets up, she jots the address down on actual paper, washes her arm, gets dressed, and takes off on a quest.

The address leads her down a winding course of alleys to a small house, grey and unremarkable.

She takes a bracing breath and knocks on the door.

The brunette opens it. "Oh. It's you. About last night…"

"Can I come in?" Parvati says.

The woman sighs. "You'd better."

"I'm Pandora," she says when she steps inside. The woman sighs again.

"No you aren't. You're Parvati Patil, Princess of the Southern Kingdom. My name is Lavender. I'm supposed to be your betrothed?"

Parvati goes still. " _What_?"

"Don't pull that on me. You have to have known. I gave you my _real name_."

"Erm." Parvati says. "I… never actually knew your name?"

"You ran away from our betrothal before you even _knew my name_?"

"I wanted to marry for love! I don't want to marry some stranger because it's my duty."

Something in Lavender's face softens.

"I understand."

"Do you? When your betrothed fled for the Capitol, _you came looking_. That doesn't sound like someone who understands."

"So what? Were you looking for some quick marriage so that you could come home and say, look, now I'm not available? How much better would that actually be?"

"Better than this!"

"You seemed just fine with me last night!"

Parvati freezes.

"What… what exactly happened, last night?"

Lavender sees her hesitation.

"Don't worry. You got very drunk, we kissed a little, I helped you home and I left you there."

A bit of the tension at the base of Parvati's spine uncoils.

"Did you know who I was the whole time?"

Lavender nods. "I was given your portrait when I was told. Clearly your parents didn't extend the same courtesy."

"They did not," Parvati says flatly. Though she rather thinks they should have. "So you knew who I was and you just… what. Let me buy you drinks?"

Lavender looks at her intently. "At first, I figured you must know who I was. When it became clear that you did not… I admit. I took the chance to get to know you a little better."

"So you let me go on believing we were strangers."

"We _are_ strangers! Isn't that exactly your problem with me?"

"I don't have to listen to this." Parvati turns toward the door.

"What? So that's it? You're just going to leave? Run away again?"

"So what if I do? Go home. Tell them you couldn't find me. Marry someone you _love_."

"And risk war between our kingdoms? You know the peace has been deteriorating."

Parvati sighs. "You can't put the start of a war on two people. Neither can you put responsibility for stopping one."

"Maybe that's true. But in the end, there is always one drop of water that makes the bucket spill over."

Parvati turns back to her. "Is this really what you want for your life? You want to marry me, spend half your life in the South and half in the North, always split between two people? You want to play at a happy family when you may wind up hating my guts?"

"I want to do what is right for my people. Marrying a beautiful woman is not the worst hardship I would endure for them."

Parvati shakes her head. "I think you and I are too different."

Parvati leaves.

She doesn't intend to go back.

But the truth is, she can't get Lavender out of her head. Lavender is beautiful, and full of conviction, and exactly Parvati's type. She was respectful when Parvati was drunk and fierce as hell when she was sober. She was not afraid to call Parvati on her shit.

She goes back to the bar that Lavender found her at three days later, and she finds Lavender sitting on a stool.

"Hello there, stranger. What are you doing here?"

"I'm in the city looking for the woman I'm supposed to be betrothed to, only she ran away," Lavender says glibly.

"Kind of a shitty betrothal, that."

Lavender smiles wryly. "Not the best start, no. But I think maybe it's getting better."

Parvati smiles back. "Maybe it is."

"Decided to come back, then?"

"I think we deserve a shot." Parvati looks at her intently. "Lavender Brown, will you marry me?"

Lavender laughs, loud and hearty. Finally, she collects herself.

"Parvati Patil, I would love to marry you."

Parvati eyes her. "Do you think we could get away with eloping?"

Lavender laughs again. "Not a chance in hell."

"Yeah, thought not." Parvati smiles. "I guess I can stand up in front of God and everyone, if you'll be there too."

And maybe it's not quite choosing her own path. But it's not quite having it chosen for her, either. And that's enough.

* * *

Wizarding Geography: Task #1: write about meeting in secret

Meet cute: I woke up hungover, I have no memory of last night and there's a number written on my arm. I call it and you answer the phone with "Oh its you . About last night..."

(Scavenger Hunt: Write your OTP) (Game of Thrones - George RR Martin 1. (trope) Arranged Marriage; 2. (creature) Dragons; 4. (dialogue) "Fire cannot kill a dragon.") (Snek 41. Black mamba- (dialogue) "It's four the morning. Of course I was sleeping!") (Lyric Alley everyone's around) (Liza's Loves 17. Royal Duchess - Write an arranged marriage!AU) (Showtime 5. Something Bad - (character) Newt Scamander) (Insane House: Newt) (Cards 29. Big Two - write about a powerful couple) (Lent use someone's name exactly 40 times)) (Fairytale: Mulan. 1. Pretending to be someone/something you're not; 2. Song: "I'll make a man out of you." - (bonus 5 points) 3. Word: Honour; 4. Animal: Dragon; 5. Falling in love)

2729 words


	25. fandom

This is it.

The moment Lavender has been waiting for.

She fiddles with the button on her coat as she stands in line to see Sybill Trelawney, Psychic Extraordinaire. She's trying not to bounce up and down.

She's never been this excited in her life.

Over the shoulder of the woman in front to her, she sees the familiar background of her favorite Trelawney blog.

For a moment, she thinks about keeping quiet. But then she realizes that this is going to be the best day of her life regardless, and she's here alone and maybe she wants someone to talk to while waiting in line.

"Hey, is that only-one-can-live? I love that blog!"

The woman on the phone turns around. She's gorgeous, brown skin and dark hair, slim shoulders bare under her tank top. She looks at Lavender, startled for a moment, before she smiles.

"You know my blog?"

"Oh my god. You're only-one-can-live? I'm Trelawneyed!"

Lavender has been chatting with only-one-can-live for almost a year now. She found the blog when she was in a dark place, and was incredibly pleased to find another person as passionate about Sybill Trelawney's shows as she was. They'd been mutuals for a while when Lavender had posted a personal message about feeling down and only-one-can-live had messaged her with simple words of encouragement that had meant the world.

"I… oh, hell. Can I hug you?" Lavender says.

A smile that's a little bit slow and sweet creeps across the woman's face.

"Sure."

Lavender hesitates for a second, then throws her arms around the woman who is both a complete stranger and one of her closest friends.

She pulls away after a semi-awkward but very fulfilling hug.

"I'm Lavender," she says.

"Parvati," says only-one-can-live.

Lavender hadn't know this day could get any better, but unexpectedly meeting the person she'd had a growing virtual crush on?

She doesn't think this day will ever be beat.

* * *

Meet Cute 25. Characters realise they know each other from the online fandom already. (Doesn't have to be music related)

61\. Trinket snake- (object) button

Lyric Alley 10. 10. I'm a little bit slow

Insane House: ParLav

365\. 134. First Line - "This was it."

Cards 26. Oh Hell - (dialogue) "Oh hell…"

Lent: only female characters

321 words


	26. we met on a train, you're seeing ghosts

"Padma, love, I can't even keep a cactus alive. Do you really think I have any business babysitting?" Parvati says into the phone. Padma's laugh echoes through the phone.

"Stop making up bullshit excuses and babysit your nephew, you weirdo."

"Yeah, yeah, all right. The train should arrive in about two hours, because I just switched over at Brussels."

"You're all set for the next leg?"

"Yeah. I even got the compartment almost to myself, so that's brill. I'll see you in two hours."

"See you in two hours."

"Love you, Padma."

"Love you, Parvati."

Parvati hangs up the phone and looks around. The first class section of the train is almost empty. There's one woman in the back, a shabby hoodie drawn up over her head. She looks twitchy and uneasy, almost like she's snuck into the first class cabin and is hoping no one notices.

But the conductor checked her ticket, so Parvati knows that isn't true. She shrugs, and pops in her wireless headphones, because the truth is that she doesn't care what the woman's deal is.

…

Lavender got the ticket as a Christmas gift from a wealthy Aunt, but she's not comfortable in the first class cabin. She knows it's legal but she still feels like any moment someone is going to come by and kick her off the train.

She keeps her battered backpack on the seat beside her so that she can flee at any moment. Time fades in and out for about an hour before she sees something flicker in the corner of her eye.

She turns her head but it's gone. But then something flickers on the other side, where she was just looking. She turns her head with a jerk, but there's nothing there.

She stands bolt upright.

…

Parvati has nearly sunk into a trance while listening to her music until the woman at the other end of the train bolts upright, clutching her ratty backpack to her chest.

She doesn't want to deal with this. She just wants to get home, and see her nephew, and sleep in her own bed. She's tired of traveling for work. She loves conventions, loves meeting other psychiatrists, and this convention was about whether psychologists should have the right to give prescriptions, which is an issue near and dear to her heart, but it means she's exhausted.

She sighs and pops out one headphone.

"Did you see that?" the woman asks in a hushed voice.

Parvati looks around. There's nothing in the train.

"No," she says.

The woman's eyes land on her. They're wide and startled.

Then her head jerks and she looks at the corner.

"No. No, stay away!" she screams.

Is this a bad trip? Is this woman on drugs?

Her eyes track something from the corner to hover over Parvati's shoulder. "Don't touch her!" the woman says. "Don't _touch her_."

Or is this a full on psychotic break? Bipolar? Schizophrenic?

Her eyes meet Parvati's. They look manic. "You've got to get out of here," she says.

Parvati takes a deep breath.

"This is a speeding train. There's nowhere to go. Why don't you tell me your name?"

The woman's eyes never stop roaming. "Lavender," she says in a whisper.

"Okay, Lavender." Parvati keeps her tone even and level. "Why don't you tell me what you're seeing?"

Lavender takes a few steps forward.

"The ghosts are back," she says. "They're back."

"Oh, honey."

At this point, Parvati is pretty sure this is a paranoid hallucination, although she doesn't have enough background on Lavender to know the cause.

So she starts talking. She keeps her voice low and even and she starts telling Lavender about her sister, Padma, She talks about her brother-in-law, Dean. She talks about her nephew, who has just turned two .

She talks as Lavender's eyes skitter around the cabin. She sits down at one of the chairs near her. After about ten minutes, Lavender sits down across from her. Her eyes don't stop moving.

Parvati isn't sure what she's seeing. But maybe it doesn't matter. She talks until her voice is hoarse and the train is pulling into St Pancras.

The doors to the train slide open.

Parvati moves to the front and grabs her briefcase. She looks back at Lavender, who is sitting in her seat, staring at her shoes.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asks.

Lavender looks up at her.

"Thank you," she says. Her voice is raspy from her screams.

Parvati bites her lip, and then she nods.

"My name is Parvati Patil. You can look me up if you ever need me."

The woman grips her tattered backpack a little tighter.

Parvati inhales, and then she steps off the train.

* * *

Meet Cute Marathon: It's the last train of the night and we're the only two people in this car and i'm 58472085345% sure i just saw a ghost

(Lyric Alley: 26. Time fades) (Liza's Loves 20. My Fair Lady - Write about someone trying to fit in with a different class.) (JJQ: "An Englishman's real ambition is to get a railway compartment to himself." (inspiration allowed)) (Snek 48. Coastal carpet python- (dialogue) "I can't even keep a cactus alive. Do you really think I have any business babysitting?") (Insane House: Item - Phone) (Cards 13. Texas Hold'em - write about two people stuck together) (Lent Only 1. Only Gryffindors) (365. 213. Plot Point - Meeting on a bus/train/transport)

Writing Month: 789 words


	27. total eclipse of the heart

Seamus's name flashes on Parvati's phone and she considers ignoring it. It's 9pm on a Friday night and she just got home from a shift at her internship at the hospital.

And on top of that, it's storming outside. Her small apartment lights up with a flash of lightning. She sighs, and lets the phone go to voicemail. If it's important, he'll leave a message.

She sinks into the cushions of her brown sofa with a sigh, carefully holding the glass of wine. She takes a sip and flips on the TV.

It's that moment when her phone lights up with a voicemail, and Parvati takes a deep, bracing breath before hitting play.

A voice she doesn't recognize starts wailing, "EVERY NOW AND THEN I GET A LITTLE BIT TERRIFIED BUT THEN I SEE THE LOOK IN YOUR EYES."

Barely audible over the singing, she hears Seamus whisper, "Help me, Par."

"TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES. EVERY NOW AND THEN I FALL APART."

"Help me. Please."

"TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES. EVERY NOW AND THEN I FALL APART."

"Pleeeeeeeeease."

"AND I NEED YOU NOW TONIGHT. AND I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER."

"Heeeeeelp meeeee."

"AND IF YOU ONLY HOLD ME TIGHT. I'LL BE HOLDING ON FOREVER."

"Oh shit. Lav. Lav, don't do that. No, come back. Fuck. Par, gotta go. We're at the Three Broomsticks. Okay, bye!"

The voicemail ends with a click.

Parvati sighs. She drains the rest of her wine glass and hauls herself off the couch. She thought maybe finishing A-levels would turn Seamus into a slightly more reserved human being, but he went to uni and found friends who like going out as much as he does.

But he's still one of her best friends, so she puts her shoes back on, grabs her wallet and her raincoat, and heads for the Three Broomsticks.

When she gets there, she pulls off the dripping hood of her coat to find Seamus leaning against the bar, head in his hands.

"Seamus?"

He looks up at her. His eyes are bright. "Par! You're the bestest."

"Want to explain?"

He nods his head toward the small stage where Three Broomsticks hosts karaoke nights on Wednesday. "I tried to tell her it wasn't Wednesday, but she wasn't having it."

On the stage, a gorgeous brunette, probably just started uni, same as them, is bellowing out _Total Eclipse of the Heart_ into a microphone that is clearly not on.

"How is she still on the same song?"

Seamus shrugs. "Hell if I know. It keeps looping."

Parvati can't help but smile. "You've gotta admire her dedication, if nothing else."

Seamus looks at her smile and he sees right through her. "Ah. You two haven't met. Par, meet Lavender. She's in my course, and she is _exactly_ your type."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Parvati says. The fact that she hasn't torn her eyes away from the singing drunk woman undercuts her lie.

She just looks so gorgeous and _happy_.

"Sure, sure," Seamus says.

"Oh, shut up," Parvati tells him. She knows without looking that he's smirking at her.

"Want to try to help me get her home? I guarantee you could get her number out of the process."

"Fuck you," Parvati says, but she's already moving toward the stage.

She steps up to the stage just as Lavender starts the song over, which gives her an idea. On the second line, she joins in, singing the "turn around," part of each line.

It takes her singing "turn around, bright eyes," for Lavender to notice.

She stops singing and stares at Parvati. After a moment, she puts down the microphone (which is still off) and climbs somewhat dangerously off the stage.

"Hey there, bright eyes," Lavender says. And _damn_ , that was pretty smooth for how drunk she has to be.

"Forever's gonna start tonight, sweetheart. How about we start it right now?" Parvati says in response.

Lavender grins. "You're pretty slick."

"And you're pretty drunk. How about we get you home, and then you can give me your number, and we'll go out when you have more of your mental faculties about you?"

Lavender appears to puzzle through that for a moment. After awhile, she shrugs. "All right then. I think I was almost at the end of the song anyway."

Parvati giggles. "I'm sure you were hun."

She leads Lavender over to where Seamus still has not left the bar. "You, Seamus, are an arsehole and you've really got to stop pawning your drunk friends off on me just because I'm training to be a nurse. But this one's a very fetching young lady, so you get a pass. This once. If you know her address."

Seamus smirks and reels off an address that is thankfully only about a block away.

"You owe me, Finnigan."

She guides Lavender out the door. The storm has not let up. As soon as they are outside, Lavender runs into the middle of the — thankfully deserted — street, tips her head back and starts trying to drink the rain.

It's a move full of such pure joy that Parvati almost doesn't want to bring her back down to Earth, but, well, it's the middle of the night and the streets are dark.

She moves into the street to pull Lavender to the pavement where it's safe to walk, but when Lavender sees her, she grins, pure and bright, and says, "Dance with me, bright eyes."

Her smile is infectious. Parvati takes her hand and directs the impromptu waltz to the pavement as best she can. When the get there, Lavender lets go of her hands and leans against the side of the building, laughing and breathless.

"Thank you," she says, her eyes looking clearer. Maybe the rain has helped to sober her a bit.

Parvati takes a chance and takes her hand. She smiles softly. "It was no problem at all. Now let's get you home. I want that phone number."

Lavender grins back and says, "It's a deal."

Parvati reminds herself to thank Seamus later.

* * *

Meet Cute Marathon: I came over here because your best friend left me a voicemail that featured you apparently sobbing while wailing very passionately along to 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' and them urgently whispering 'help me' every once in a while. Anyone care to explain or..?

(Lyric Alley: 25. But i hate changing) (Liza's Loves 2. Dark 'N' Stormy - Write about a storm) (Snek 47. Blood python- (object) wine glass) (Lent Only 7. Only Characters under 20) (Cards 4. Rummy - write a slash/femslash pairing) (Insane House: word: fetching) (365 prompts. 194. Location - The Three Broomsticks)

Words: 1010


	28. fbi agent

Lavender takes a drink from her coffee cup and sits at her desk. She sighs as she turns on her computer and checks the time.

It's 8:00 AM, on the dot.

She logs in and loads up her screens, ready to check in on the three cases she's got for monitoring currently. Then she loads up her email and checks.

She's got another case. _Cormac McLaggen_. Damn, he even sounds sketchy. She scrolls through the file to find he's suspected of stalking and that's the reason he's on her list.

Lavender shudders. Stalking is the reason she joined the FBI. She can't forget being sixteen and unable to shake the feeling of being monitored, seventeen and talking to the police but no one taking her seriously, eighteen and attacked, fingernails digging into her skin, flailing and trying to gasp in a desperate breath.

She moved at age nineteen to escape Greyback. It didn't end up being enough. He found her. His hunger turned out to be unrelenting.

She nearly died. The only reason he ended up in prison? A man stumbled in on them, Lavender half dead, Greyback lurking over her, hands closed over her throat.

She hates stalkers.

And this McLaggen seems like a shady fucker. It doesn't take the FBI's best and brightest to see that — and Lavender _is_ the FBI's best and brightest. She digs deeper into his history.

There's a folder buried deep on his hard drive that has her immediately concerned. There are pictures upon pictures of the same young, female, Indian individual — on a grocery run, dressed up for a job, on a run in shorts and a sports bra. The last picture there are too many duplicates of, from a myriad of angles, many of them zoomed in to a creepy degree.

Lavender curses. Then, for good measure, she curses again.

She digs deeper, looking for any sign that McLaggen intends to move on his victim rather than just pictures. Not that his longing isn't clear enough from the photos. He clearly craves her attention.

She finds a GPS monitoring the location of the victim's phone, _Jesus_. This is far past anything innocent.

But, technically, there's not anything she can move on. Not yet.

She sighs, and checks the rest of her cases, before McLaggen logs on and she settles in to monitor his activity.

…

Nine days later, McLaggen sends a picture of the victim's ass to one of his friends. The caption reads, " _Tonight, this ass is mine. She'll never see it coming."_

And no.

No.

Lavender refuses to let this happen.

She _refuses_.

The person's name is Parvati Patil, and Lavender refuses to let her become a victim. She still remembers pleading for help and getting _nothing_. She refuses to let that become Parvati's reality.

She pulls up the location of McLaggen's phone, thanking God and everything that he lives in Pennsylvania, and logs out of her computer, pulling on her jacket.

She may get fired for this. She's not sure she cares.

…

Lavender puts her foot to the gas pedal and _drives_. She's terrified she's not going to make it in time. She's terrified that a life is going to be ruined tonight, and she could have stopped it if only she had driven faster.

So she pulls out the flashing light that she's not supposed to use, slaps it on top of her car, and puts the pedal to the metal, driving frantically. Her heart throbs in her chest.

By the time she reaches McLaggen, his phone is outside of Parvati's house. "Fuck," Lavender says as she bolts out of her car, looking around and pulling out her glock. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

She can't find McLaggen. He must be inside.

" _Jesus fucking christ on a goddamn cracker."_

She knocks.

No one responds.

She knocks once more.

There is no response, and she tries the knob. The door is open.

Cautiously, Lavender pushes it open.

"FBI," she calls. There's a rustling and then the sound of someone shushing someone else from another room.

She creeps into the living room. She finds McLaggen on the floor, one hand holding a knife against Parvati's neck, the other hand covering Parvati's mouth. She can tell that she just interrupted an undesired kiss.

She trains her gun on his heart. Her hands are steady. She has trained for this. She is not afraid.

"Let her go, McLaggen. Let's talk about this."

He sneers at her, his face arrogant and cocky. She already hates him. "There's nothing to talk about. You're going to turn around and march right out that door, or I'll slit her fucking throat."

She could turn around. She could give it up. But that's isn't her. And so there's no real possibility of that happening. Lavender is not turning her head and letting this happen.

"Let's try this instead. Drop the knife, or I'll empty this clip into your heart."

She and McLaggen stare into each other's eyes. She does not flinch. She does not blink.

McLaggen drops the knife.

"Good choice," Lavender says. She steps close to him and pulls him off the floor to his knees, cuffing his hands behind him.

"You alright?" she asks Parvati.

Parvati smiles at her, shaky but genuine. "I'm going to be once the dust settles, thanks to you."

* * *

Meet Cute: FBI Agent!AU: Person A's assigned agent goes beyond the call of duty...

Insane House: Action - Choking

Writing Month: 887

365: 214. Plot Point - Protecting Someone

Lent: No using the letter 'w' OR Shrove Tuesday - Write about making pancakes

Character Appreciation 16. Protecting family/a loved one

Disney: Song 2: Kiss The Girl - Write about an interrupted kiss

Book Club: Miles Richter: (object) jacket, (trait) intelligent, (word) arrogant

Showtime 13. I Move On - (theme) Write about being fearless

Buttons: AU4: Cop!AU.

Lyric Alley 3. We could turn around, or we could give it up.

Year in Entertainment: Book: word: dust

Liza's Loves 9. Rogercop - Write a police-officer!AU - Alt - Write about being fired

Sophie's Shelf: 1. hunger, longing, crave, throb, unrelenting, frantic


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